Scheduling conflicts means we had to take the week off from our normal feed, so please enjoy this unlocked Patreon episode of Three Up, Three Down, featuring in depth discussion of bespoke AI appliances, Catholic guilt, accents, and more.
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Transcript
BOBBY: All right. Here we go. I’m saying that like— like this is a normal episode and not just a Patreon episode, which we’ve just been kind of going down the path of just— it starts when it starts.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And by God, listeners, it ends when it ends. Do you feel like when you eat Popeye’s before recording a podcast, it’s like kind of the equivalent of, like, Tom Brady eating all of that, like, TB12 Method powder shit?
ALEX: Yeah. Just— and that it, like, locks you in?
BOBBY: Yeah. That it— like in the same way that eating electrolytes and carbohydrates, simple carbohydrates and, you know, lean proteins and everything, would lock you in for an athletic event. Like eating Popeye’s lock you and to sit down, not move and talk shit for two— for two hours.
ALEX: Yes. No, it’s good. I want to just be swallowing burps for the next hour and a half.
BOBBY: That seems like a— that seems like a huge thing, like a digestion thing.
ALEX: Yeah, I think it is. Yeah.
BOBBY: What’s your nutrition looking like these days?
ALEX: Well, I had Popeye’s for dinner.
BOBBY: Three squares a day? Three square meals a day?
ALEX: Three— no. No. I can’t actually— I thought I was for a second. I don’t really know what I was going for. No, it’s like two and a half, you know?
BOBBY: That’s pretty good.
ALEX: A little snack for breakfast.
BOBBY: We got to rehaul— we got to overhaul breakfast in this country.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: What we’re doing is wrong.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Because—
ALEX: All these tech bros, you want to disrupt something?
BOBBY: You want— oh, oh, you’re saying— you’re— you’re putting out a missive to the tech boys?
ALEX: I’m— yeah. I’m saying you— you want to disrupt all these [1:35]
BOBBY: I thought you were saying that I’m a tech bro, for saying that we need to overhaul breakfast.
ALEX: Well, maybe a little bit, but—
BOBBY: I don’t mean we need to overhaul breakfast and replace it with Soylent. I mean, we need to overhaul breakfast and just like— we— we can keep it generally how it is, but just make the things better. Because, like—
ALEX: Are— are you thinking of any specific, like, thing?
BOBBY: Yes, I am.
Alex; Okay.
BOBBY: Thank you for asking. I was waiting for that. It’s like—
ALEX: I know you’re not a bacon guy.
BOBBY: Well, I hate bacon.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Because it’s not good.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: But that’s beside the point. We can keep bacon as part of breakfast. We don’t have— Americans love sweet breakfast, but we—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —don’t have good sweets for breakfast, so what’s that all about? Like, if you go to a coffee shop, and you want to have like, quote-unquote, “sweet breakfast: like a croissant or something, or like a pastry, the pastry options aren’t good. They’re like stale, and room temperature, and not filling. So I’m always like, “Okay, I ate this pastry. Ostensibly, I got the 350 calories or whatever that I need for breakfast,” which is not enough, but—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —you know what I mean.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Like, to keep— to sustain the cup of coffee that I’m going to eat, and whatever I’m doing in the morning until I eat a large lunch. But I don’t feel full, because this is just the sad, little wispy pastry that they gave me with my coffee. We just need to do better is what I’m saying.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I live in the most expensive city on the planet. I can’t have a coffee shop near me that has a good pastry? What’s up with that? And why are the savory pastry options always so much worse than the— the sweet pastry options? We live in an anti-savory society, and I know that you can appreciate this because you like savory things.
ALEX: I do like savory things. I opt for savory at— at breakfast, too early for sweet. Although, although, I will say I— I’ve been— I’ve been known to house a— a plate of French toast.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Which— which I love. But— but I— and maybe to your point, I do think that the range of quality in French toast is so vast that it’s almost not worth ordering. Like, we need a universal standard—
BOBBY: French toast.
ALEX: —of— of French toast. You know how— you know how like— what— don’t like the French have like their standard what qualifies as like bread or whatever, you know? Like, a certain level of sugar— if there’s this much sugar, that’s—
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: —it’s not bread anymore. I just— I want—
BOBBY: I think that only— it’s for baguettes.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: Which are, like, a historically significant bread.
ALEX: The French love to be like, “This is historically significant.”
BOBBY: I think it was because of like— I don’t know, probably something to do with the royals, and the French Revolution, and the baguettes, you know? I don’t know.
ALEX: Yeah. It all comes back to that.
BOBBY: If you want, I could go to the Wikipedia page for French Revolution, the pa— a page that I find myself on often.
ALEX: Oh, yeah?
BOBBY: Just reading, you know? Just learning. Did you know that there’s a museum out there? I don’t remember what museum, however, but this was—
ALEX: Okay. Off to a good start.
BOBBY: There exists a museum—
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —and in said museum—
ALEX: The museum of the mind.
BOBBY: In said museum, I learned this via the trivia game show, Jeopardy. You’re familiar with that?
ALEX: I am.
BOBBY: I was watching Tournament of Champions last week, and there was a question about how the— some museum houses a real live, from the French Revolution, Reign of Terror, a guillotine.
ALEX: Wow.
BOBBY: So, like, new David Rubenstein artifact just dropped, buy that guillotine.
ALEX: I— do you think he would— that feels like maybe a little too close to comfort for him.
BOBBY: A little too explosive, I think.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Well, like just it’s—
BOBBY: That would be an epic— ep— epic irony moment. Local billionaire buys one of two remaining guillotines.
ALEX: Right, to take it out of circulation, make sure it doesn’t get used.
BOBBY: I like how you’re saying it like there are finite resource, like you can’t build— we can’t build— we can’t possibly build another one. We don’t build things anymore.
ALEX: No, we don’t.
BOBBY: Those things that we’re referring to are— we don’t build guillotines anymore.
ALEX: We don’t. We literally don’t.
BOBBY: We don’t. I mean, We don’t. No, we don’t. Should we?
ALEX: You can— I mean, I don’t know—
BOBBY: We’re on the Patreon feed, so—
ALEX: I don’t know how many guillotines are in circulation right now, so it’s hard to say. Are they all checked out? Like—
BOBBY: GPC, Guillotines Per Capita?
ALEX: Universal Basic Guillotines, everyone—
BOBBY: GPM, Guillotines Per Mil?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I don’t know—
ALEX: All right. Good.
BOBBY: I don’t know how we got here. I was talking about breakfast.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And you started talking about French standards.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Here’s the thing about the French, though.
ALEX: Yeah. Tell me the thing about the French.
BOBBY: Well, before I do that, I’m gonna read a text message that I just received from my mother. The Mets suck.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: She’s right.
ALEX: She is not wrong.
BOBBY: The thing about the French is the standards are worth it, because their food is legitimately great.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: You get an omelet here in America, it’s like, okay, you got a couple of fucking dry eggs and you’re on your way. You get an omelet in France and you’re like, “My whole week is made.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: That’s— that’s the level of standards that I would like to rise to in my life. I feel as though I hold myself to a high standard.
ALEX: You do. It’s— it’s—
BOBBY: Sometimes to a fault.
ALEX: But I— I think you’re right, that it’s like we need to raise the baseline, basically. Like I think good breakfast food is— is good, but there is like an ocean between a good plate of eggs and a bad plate of eggs.
BOBBY: To be clear, though, I’m not really talking about a plate of eggs, because I’m— I’m happy—
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: —to go to the diner and sit down, but I just don’t always have time for that.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: American diner culture is good, does not need to be disrupted.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: American pastry culture, on the other hand, does.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: Too heavy on the sweets, not enough savory options, and the savory options are sad. They’re always sad. It’s always like, “Oh, this ham and cheese croissant, the ham was cooked three days ago, and the croissant was baked two days ago.” I’m just sad about it. I don’t know what to tell you. I had a bad ham and cheese croissant today for breakfast.
ALEX: I— right. I wondered if maybe you were speaking from a recent personal experience.
BOBBY: The way that you podcast is you take a personal slight that happened to you—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —and you apply it to great— greater society.
ALEX: Well, that’s your lived experience. You can’t deny that.
BOBBY: Right. Right.
ALEX: And I’m not one to do that.
BOBBY: That’s kind of how Jerry Seinfeld is going about his life these days. Yo, I watched the Unfrosted movie, the Pop-Tart movie.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Good—
BOBBY: It’s not—
ALEX: Good recommend?
BOBBY: It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: But it is the movie that sent me down a deep, deep existential spiral.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Yeah. It was tough.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Tough to— tough sit, as we say. I was like, “Oh, my God, they have a lot to wrap up in this movie. There’s only like 15 minutes left.” Because I knew the runtime, obviously, heading into it, because I was like, “This is how long I will have to sustain it.”
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: And I was like, “They have so much to wrap up. You know, there’s only like— maybe like 15, 20 minutes left.” I looked down, 37 minutes had passed.
ALEX: Jesus.
BOBBY: We should have criminal hearings for the people involved in making that movie.
ALEX: We actually should— well, we should, actually, have probably criminal hearings for one of those people, but—
BOBBY: The Pop-Tart movie. I don’t even eat Pop-Tarts, but perfect example of what I’m talking about. I don’t like Pop-Tarts.
ALEX: No, they’re not good.
BOBBY: No.
ALEX: They’re not good.
BOBBY: And even if they were good, I wouldn’t want that for breakfast.
ALEX: Uh-uh.
BOBBY: What is so wrong with me being anti-sweets?
ALEX: I— not [9:05]
BOBBY: Everybody’s like, “Let people enjoy things.” What about me? I don’t get to enjoy things. No [9:10] for Giacomo? I’m clearly in a weird mood today. Should we do 3UP, 3DOWN?
ALEX: I think, yeah.
BOBBY: Would you like to start with up or down? No— no, no. Last time we determined, we were always going to start with down and we were going to do all the downs first and then we were going to do the ups.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I’d like you to talk for a little while, so why don’t you go first?
ALEX: Okay. All right. Bobby, you’re familiar with the Erstwhile segment, bad take dramatic readings?
BOBBY: Yes, I am.
ALEX: Okay. Well, I came across an article that— that it felt like a perfect candidate for— for said segment, and although, we are not doing that segment right now—
BOBBY: Are we going segment within a segment mode [9:56]
ALEX: I think we might be going a segment within a— within a segment mode.
BOBBY: Segment inception? Oh, man.
ALEX: The— the headline of this article— this is in the Washington Examiner, so it’s like a— like conservative rag, like, reads, you— you know what you’re getting into. The headline for this article—
BOBBY: Do you often find yourself reading the Washington Examiner?
ALEX: I do, yeah. No, I actually really appreciate their cultural criticism.
BOBBY: Right. Is that a—
ALEX: I read— I read— their music reviews are off the hook.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: The headline is, “MLB announcer refers to players pregnant girlfriend as his partner.”
BOBBY: Oh, my God. I saw this.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: I saw the headline.
ALEX: All right.
BOBBY: And I also saw— whatever his name is, the Phillies— Phillies play-by-play guy. I also saw him tweeting in response—
ALEX: To the writer?
BOBBY: Not even to the writer, but to like—
ALEX: Or like— but more just like to the people talking about it?
BOBBY: Yes, exactly.
ALEX: It’s just I wish— I wish my— my life was easy enough that I could come up with gripes like these.
BOBBY: Uh-huh.
ALEX: This is— this is how this starts, okay? Ostensibly, vaguely about sports. It’s widely known that left-wing political activists have done much to hijack language in an attempt to redefine it to align more with their socio-political beliefs and ideologies. That’s— it’s widely known.
BOBBY: Widely known, yes.
ALEX: You— you agree with that?
BOBBY: I do. You could say that every week we try to hijack language here on this podcast.
ALEX: I think we do a very good job of it. I’m— I’m— I’m just skimming this because I don’t want to spoil some of the— the— the [11:28] for you. You know, the twists in here. The left has worked diligently— has diligently worked to attack and recreate the culture. Unfortunately, it’s working.
BOBBY: It is.
ALEX: And another example of why the culture war is so important.
BOBBY: Oh, fuck.
ALEX: You forgot about the culture war, didn’t you?
BOBBY: Oh, fuck. No, no— I mean, yes, of course.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: No, I live the cultural war [11:49]
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: I’m a fucking vanguardist of the culture war. No. Does this count? Is this a culture war?
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: Should we mark it off the Bingo Card?
ALEX: Wow. Interesting.
BOBBY: The Washington Examiner is saying that this is a culture war.
ALEX: That’s true.
BOBBY: I don’t think it’s big enough yet, but we’re scouting it.
ALEX: Give it some time. You know?
BOBBY: We’re scouting it like Kiley McDaniel is scouting a 14-year-old. That’s staying in, it’s the Patreon.
ALEX: Woo. “During Monday’s baseball game broadcast between the Philadelphia Phillies and San Francisco Giants, the Phillies announcers discuss Giants pitcher Blake Snell’s recent stint on Major League Baseball’s paternity list. Yet, instead of referring to the woman carrying Snell’s child as his girlfriend, the announcer called her ‘his partner.’ It was— it was a quick comment that most people might not have even noticed.” Yeah, you’re fucking right about that.
BOBBY: Until you wrote an article about it.
ALEX: “Or if they did, they didn’t think it was worthy of criticism. However, remaining silent on these subtle sociopolitical and cultural shifts allows these kinds of changes to happen in society.” He goes on to say, “I don’t know if Snell or his girlfriend have any business dealings together. Perhaps they’ve started a company or have been working on some joint venture.” There’s like another 500 words in this article that— that I’ve— that it— that it doesn’t feel— feel worth divulging, because it— because it’s nonsensical, right? I mean, it’s like you— monkey hits the keyboard, a bunch of, like, words come out and you hit publish, you know?
BOBBY: Whom among us has not been searching for 750 stray words that they had to fake be mad about?
ALEX: Yeah. “Calling Snell’s girlfriend his, quote, ‘partner’ is a big deal.” It really is. It’s setting the stage for a radical shift in cultural norms for generations to come. Compliance with this advances the Left’s agenda.”
BOBBY: If only it did, you know? Because there’s not much else going on to advance the Left’s agenda.
ALEX: A-yo. Anyway, he goes on to talk about a slippery slope and eventually, the word, you know, girlfriend is going to become a slur, and like we’re not ready for that world, you know?
BOBBY: It’s also nuanced, though, because sometimes language is dumb.
ALEX: Well, yes, of course. And— and we reserve the right to call that out when it is.
BOBBY: Yes. Like, have you been seeing this post going around on X, the Everything App? By the way, I think it’s actually called X, the Everything Platform.
ALEX: No way. Oh, my God. So that’s why—
BOBBY: I don’t know, I—
ALEX: —we haven’t been getting any of the sponsorship checks.
BOBBY: I went to X, the Everything Platform app in the App Store the other day, and there’s like a lot of paid reviews. Like, a lot of paid five-star reviews using some incredibly flowery language.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: But have you been seeing this post going around where that person was like, “What are the load-bearing posts of our time?”
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: And it’s just everybody posting all the same screenshots of all of their same favorite—
ALEX: Yeah, it’s just— I mean, it’s— I mean, it’s a nice, like, little tradition.
BOBBY: It’s great. Yes.
ALEX: Like, every six months, someone’s— like post tweets on— on the tweet platform and everyone’s like, “Here’s my favorite.”
BOBBY: Yeah, exactly. And I’ve been seeing a lot of ones that are like, you know, guy on Twitter, “I’m tweet maxing my”— you— you know, like saying—
ALEX: Oh, yeah, yeah.
BOBBY: —dumb stuff like that, person in real life, “Hey, man, how are you?”
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: You know? So language is dumb, we have ruined language, but I don’t think that’s a left or right thing. I think it’s just an internet thing, in general. Like this article is a good example of that. You just wouldn’t say something to someone in real life, if they’re like, “Yeah, my partner and I went to the baseball game yesterday.” You wouldn’t be like, “You’re advancing the Left’s agenda. You motherfucker. Look at you, look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t want socialism to take over this country.”
ALEX: I don’t know, go outside, man.
BOBBY: “You called me bastard.” I don’t know, man. “Go outside.”
ALEX: Sure. Go outside, close the computer. Log off— sorry, I should— I should say— I should direct to Christopher Tremoglie, Tremoglie. Doesn’t matter.
BOBBY: Unfortunate that he’s an Italian-American. We’re not sending our best and brightest.
ALEX: No, we’re not. Oh, he does— in his— in his Twitter bio, he has Italian flag and then the— the like— what’s— what do you— what do you call this? This— you know?
BOBBY: Keep going.
ALEX: I—
BOBBY: I’m just gonna let you keep digging.
ALEX: I need you— I need you to save me here. You know, the hand motion.
BOBBY: Yeah. The oh, oh, hey.
ALEX: Right. Exactly. So he has flag emoji, flag emoji.
BOBBY: Oh, just a repeat?
ALEX: Just a— just a repeat, in case it wasn’t clear the first time.
BOBBY: What do you think this podcast would be like if you were Italian too? I’ve been thinking—
ALEX: We’re getting into dangerous territory here.
BOBBY: We’re thinking of giving you an honorary Italian-American degree.
ALEX: Aw. I’m still holding out for that citizenship from your— from your mom. I know we— I know we determined that that was—
BOBBY: Yeah, I discussed this with her last weekend.
ALEX: Oh, you did?
BOBBY: I did, yeah.
ALEX: Updates?
BOBBY: She led me to believe that it’s a lot of paperwork.
ALEX: I’m sure it is.
BOBBY: And I said, “Hey, mom, you’re retiring in a month.”
ALEX: “You got nothing but time.”
BOBBY: Exactly. Exactly.
ALEX: Okay. So then our civil partnership, whatever, is still on?
BOBBY: Right. We do own a business together. We are partners. We are partners. We are partners.
ALEX: We are literally partners, I’m just saying.
BOBBY: No, but I’ve been thinking about this because there is— there is sort of like an incredible wave of Italian-American social media happening out there that I’m not sure if you’re aware of. There’s a lot of, like, Italian-American, you know, meme pages.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Growing Up Italian.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And they— they are so fucking problematic, you—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I mean, I would say you would not believe it, but of course, you would believe it. So we could provide a service to all of the Italian-Americans out there, like myself, who don’t want to be problematic. We’re sort of, like, starting—
ALEX: You’re saying not all Italians.
BOBBY: We could start a spin-off. You know, like we could counter program the Fox News culture of Italian-Americans out there.
ALEX: You’re taking it back, man.
BOBBY: We can be like the [18:21] for— for Italian-American social media posting.
ALEX: That kind of broke my brain a little bit, I’m not gonna lie.
BOBBY: Yeah, of course, it did. Of course. These are the things I think about. I’m gonna add that to my running list of new podcast ideas that I have in my phone.
ALEX: Do it. Email it to ourselves.
BOBBY: Yeah, but I can’t say it out loud, though, because then unnamed audio company will be like, “That’s mine now. I thought of that.” So I just— I’m going to redact the last five minutes.
ALEX: Good. Good. All right.
BOBBY: 23 minutes.
ALEX: 23 minutes in. Jesus. Do you have a down or an up? Or— or just a [19:01]
BOBBY: I do have a down. My first down is—
ALEX: [19:05]
BOBBY: It’s a quick one. We’ll do a quick one so that we can keep it pushing.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Ronald Acuña is out for the year.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: On just like a nothing play, you know?
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: He was stealing, and then the catcher blocked the ball, so he stopped, and he turned back, and boom. Just like that, tore his ACL. I don’t have a take.
ALEX: Yup. Fucking sucks.
BOBBY: Every pitcher is out.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And we’re starting to lose the good hitters.
ALEX: Well, there are no good hitters anymore.
BOBBY: Yes, there are. They’re all in the Phillies and Dodgers. God. Yeah, that’s— that’s a bummer.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Because it also means that the Braves are gonna win the World Series now, because that’s what happened last time [19:42] the whole last season.
ALEX: Oh, God.
BOBBY: We’re so— we’re so done.
ALEX: This is— this is when it becomes really hard to do a baseball podcast, I say, with— with great— great privilege, because I don’t like talking about players who get hurt. Just makes me— it makes me sad. I’m like, “Wow.” These are real emotions I feel for you, Ronald Acuña.”
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: You’ve melted my heart of ice.
BOBBY: It’s crazy how, like, in sports, you can just blow out your knee and then you just don’t have to work for a year.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And that sucks. But if you blew out your knee, and you didn’t have to work for a year, we’d be throwing you a fucking party.
ALEX: Absolutely.
BOBBY: Wow.
ALEX: Should I blow out my knee?
BOBBY: See, I think that you actually would have to work, though.
ALEX: I think so. Our—
BOBBY: You maybe get like a week off.
ALEX: Our— our general counsel is currently limping around the office, ’cause he’s in ACL— torn ACL recovery mode.
BOBBY: Oh, God.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: That’s— that’s just not a civilian injury.
ALEX: It really is not [20:47]
BOBBY: So whenever somebody like tears their Achilles or ACL, oh my God.
ALEX: What are you doing?
BOBBY: No. I— I haven’t played basketball since before the pandemic, which is the longest I’ve gone without playing basketball, you know, since I was, like, four.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And I’m— I’m starting to get the itch again to play, because I’ve been hearing a lot of people sharing the sentiment— and this is not a new sentiment. But, like, you know, when you’re 40, you’re gonna wish that you played more when you were 25 or 28, or whatever. So I’ve been hearing people say that. And I’m like, “Well, I played so much when I was younger—”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “—that for, like, a while I was like, ‘I don’t miss playing at all.’” But now, I kind of do miss it a little bit, but I just think about the soft tissue injuries that can come with—
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —taking three years off and then jumping right back in. And knowing me—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —I’m— I’m just like a psychotic person. Like, I can’t just go play basketball and be normal.
ALEX: No, of course not.
BOBBY: Go play basketball and be bike this is game— it’s not game seven of the NBA Finals, but it is game five.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Every time I’m out there.
ALEX: I believe it. I haven’t really seen you play much basketball.
BOBBY: Well, maybe we could get out there and just be like Steph and Klay. You know, you and me just—
ALEX: Uh-hmm. That’s how— what I’ve always compared to.
BOBBY: Getting shots up.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: It’s like— I also live next to a park that has a basketball court, and I see those kids out there, and I’m like, “These kids suck. These kids suck. [22:14] work.”
ALEX: I could smoke them. How old are the kids?
BOBBY: Like 15.
ALEX: Okay. Yeah.
BOBBY: But when I was 15, I could have given random 28-year-old work, you know? And I did very often—
ALEX: I’m sure they see it as a challenge.
BOBBY: —at the Y.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Yeah, no, I’m just staring them down. Once again, like Kiley McDaniel, you know?
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Who doesn’t have it. All right. What’s your next down?
ALEX: Kiley McDaniel was out here.
BOBBY: He’s just the one— like, one time I saw him arguing for, like—
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: —four straight days about why it’s okay to—
ALEX: Well, he like—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: He, like, responded to us directly, which I think is—
BOBBY: Did he?
ALEX: Yeah, because we— we like quote tweeted him and was like— I don’t— I don’t remember what we said. We were like, “This is kind of skeevy, huh?” And he was like, “Well, this is how it’s always been done.”
BOBBY: Oh, I do remember this.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Dang. So we thought— we— we— so we’re like the Grim Reaper meme when it goes from like one door to the next, saying like, “We got rid of Jomboy. Who’s up next?” I say we got rid of Jomboy, but guess what, bro? I was at the Mets game yesterday, three rows behind me someone was talking about how they’re— just listened to Jomboy talked about something on the way there. And I’m like, “We’re at Citi Field, man.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “This is not Jomboy—”
ALEX: This is not— this is not his territory.
BOBBY: Yeah. No, no. You don’t go— let’s move on.
ALEX: I will say, it— it does bring me immense amounts of joy seeing the baseball community so slowly and steadily turn on him, right? Like, he— I think he had another—
BOBBY: I don’t know, I muted him.
ALEX: Oh, wow.
BOBBY: I muted him, I muted Jomboy Media. I muted them all. I muted Talkin’ Jake. I just don’t need it anymore.
ALEX: No, it’s— it’s— that’s protecting your mental health. All right, my next down—
BOBBY: A follow-up from my mom, she says, “They need pitching.” They need more than that.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Butto boys, where we at?
BOBBY: He’s in the— Oh, my God.
ALEX: I know, I— I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
BOBBY: I’m so mad. I’m saying— I’m— I’m saying, like, five Hail Marys to, like, get myself through this moment. The Lord is with thee, you know, blessed art thou.
ALEX: My next down is like the— the way that we’re kind of talking about Livvy Dunne over the last few weeks. Like, the—
BOBBY: Oh, man, a Livvy Dunne has logged on.
ALEX: Well, I just— I mean, generally speaking, I don’t really care either way, right? I like— like I— okay. I get it, right, because this sport fucking sucks, and we’re all grasping at any reason why this sport may be culturally relevant beyond the 162 games, right? Like, I understand that aspect. So when someone’s [24:55] an influencer, we’re like, “It’s half, baseball’s back, baby.” Back in the zeitgeist. You know, this is— this is why I was and continue to root for Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens, right? But I don’t know. I saw a clip today from the Tigers broadcast, where they were like talking about— they were like comparing their social media followings and I’m like—
BOBBY: Yeah, I saw that.
ALEX: —I’m like, “Okay, that’s fine, whatever.” And then they, like, continued to just kind of chat, and it just got weirder and weirder to where one broadcaster was, like, doing something on his phone. The other guys were like, “What you doing over there, buddy?” And he’s like, “Ah, just give me a second. Just give me a second.” And they’re like, “Are— are you following Livvy Dunne right now?” And he, like, gives a sheepish giggle and is like, “No, I’m following Paul Skenes, duh.” And then they go on and they’re like, “Hey, are you gonna see— you’re going to interview Livvy in a crowd?” And then the sideline reporter is like, “Yeah, if I see her, I’ll try. Sure.” And the one guy’s like, “Yeah, dude, like, shoot your shot. Like, go for it,” whatever.” And I’m like, “Are we for real right now?”
BOBBY: “Shoot you shot?
ALEX: Are we— this is a baseball broadcast, right? With— with grown men—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —who ostensibly know better.
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: I just— I— I understand— like, we were even guilty of— of Livvy Dunne exposure— overexposure, I think, when we talked with Baumann. Her name came up like four or five times. I get it, you know? She’s a— she’s a moment.
BOBBY: Oh, on the Power Brokers Draft?
ALEX: It was the—
BOBBY: I was like on state of labor. Like, does she has some— some takes that I don’t know about? I blocked out Power Brokers Draft because we lost to him, so—
ALEX: That’s fair.
BOBBY: —that didn’t happen.
ALEX: It didn’t, it didn’t.
BOBBY: That was what I’m now introducing as a new concept here, a non-canon episode of Tipping Pitches.
ALEX: Oh, yes. There you go.
BOBBY: A non-canon.
ALEX: Yeah. I— that’s— that’s kind of it. Stop— stop talking weird shit about the baseball player’s girlfriend.
BOBBY: I can’t believe that— that this is still a thing. I just—
ALEX: Like, what—
BOBBY: This is a bad baseball year so far—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —in my estimation. I almost made this one of my downs.
ALEX: I— I agree. Oh.
BOBBY: But I chose to be more specific, and I didn’t feel like— I don’t feel like I fully brought this take into focus yet.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: There’s, like, a lot missing this season. And it’s not just the players that are injured. I just feel like there’s not a predominantly interesting storyline. There’s a lot of things that we’re trying to talk ourselves into as the most interesting storyline of the season. I guess if I was forced to pick, the two that I would choose are Soto being amazing on the Yankees, and the Yankees being good. And Skenes coming up—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —more broadly. But I feel like people are really grasping for, like, “This is interesting. Let’s hold on to this.”
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: Yeah. Be normal challenge, MLB announcers impossible.
ALEX: Be normal— be normal Tigers broadcast booth challenge, if possible.
BOBBY: Isn’t Benetti the Tigers broadcaster now? He is.
ALEX: Yeah, he is. So these— these are like the pregame guys. I don’t know it was Carlos Pena—
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: —and someone else.
BOBBY: Carlos Pena from Moneyball?
ALEX: Yeah, that— that one, but he will— I— to his credit, he is—
BOBBY: Jeffrey Epstein, the New York financier?
ALEX: Wow. All right. What’s your— what’s your next down?
BOBBY: A real— my next down, Alex, is the passage of time. I had a real like, “That can’t be right,” yesterday, because people were posting the eight-year anniversary— eight— eight— year anniversary, eight, two less than 10, three more than five.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Four times two, eight, eight, eight. Otto, otso, eight.
ALEX: Can you do any others?
BOBBY: No.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: How do you say eight in French? You were just gonna say eight with a French—
ALEX: [28:51]
BOBBY: Eight in English with a French accent.
ALEX: Eight.
[laughter]
BOBBY: Have never known a French man. I just— never had any interest. You know, why don’t they pronounce half the constants? I can’t figure it out.
ALEX: I— I took a semester in— I had to get a— you have to learn language at— so you have to take a couple years of it, whatever, NYU.
BOBBY: Yeah. You took a semester of French before switching to Italian?
ALEX: I took a semester of— yeah, I took a semester of French—
BOBBY: Again, honorary Italian.
ALEX: Got a C and then was like, “Fuck this. I’m not doing it.”
BOBBY: You can’t be blowing up your GPA for French.
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: You can’t be do—
ALEX: No way. No way.
BOBBY: Come on. Come on now. I— I— no French. No French, whatsoever.
ALEX: No French. No French. But eight.
BOBBY: Eight, eight years since Noah Syndergaard was ejected for throwing at Chase Utley.
ALEX: Wow. Wow.
BOBBY: We’re coming up on a full decade.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And I— I freaked out, because I was like, “That can’t be true.” Like, this timeline does not— it does not compute in my head.” Because I remembered— because when the video that was posted alongside with this, because I follow a lot of like this day in Mets history accounts.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: The video that was posted alongside of it was the Terry— Terry Collins Ass In The Jackpot video.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: And I was like, “Well, that could not have been eight years ago,” because we talked about that on the podcast the day after it happened. But I remembered there was like a weird thing where there was a leak from the MLB commissioner’s office—
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: —two years after the event, after the ejection.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So it was, like, this event did happen eight years ago, but the thing that I associate most— most with it only happened six years ago.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: But either way, that’s still a long time.
ALEX: I mean, I think that fucks me up is thinking that, like, we graduated six years ago, that we’ve been out of school, just like—
BOBBY: Grinding it.
ALEX: —grinding it, doing this for six years.
BOBBY: Every week.
ALEX: Still waiting for the big break, you know?
BOBBY: It’s coming.
ALEX: It is.
BOBBY: It’s coming,
ALEX: I can feel it.
BOBBY: The Woke Italian-American podcast.
ALEX: That’s—
BOBBY: That’s the big break.
ALEX: That’s the ticket to success.
BOBBY: Yeah, man. And that was like the last time Noah Syndergaard was good, 2016.
ALEX: Yes, you’re right about that. Yeah. Well, that’s when he started reading Jordan Peterson and it kind of all went downhill from there.
BOBBY: We should look into that.
ALEX: Like?
BOBBY: Like, was he actually reading Jordan Peterson before that, or did he really lose it because of that? I mean, there could be a—
ALEX: It’s—
BOBBY: There could be a not insignificant correlation there.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Okay. What’s your next down?
ALEX: All right. Interesting. It— it’s in my back pocket.
BOBBY: Do— do you wanna— do you wanna to bring back Dr. JP this week?
ALEX: I can’t do it. I refused. I already done French.
BOBBY: He was, like, talking about the brainstem. Jordan Peterson, the— when I was doing the Jordan Peterson impression two weeks ago.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: What was the thing that I kept repeating?
ALEX: What, ha— like, “Have it your way, buddy.”
BOBBY: Yeah, that’s it. Yeah.
ALEX: That was— that was his— that was his thing.
BOBBY: He loves McDonald’s just like us— no, that’s Burger King, “Have it your way.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I don’t know. My brain is fried today.
ALEX: All right. This is great. This is going really well.
BOBBY: Uh-hmm.
ALEX: We’re on third down.
BOBBY: People pay money for this.
ALEX: Don’t tempt them.
BOBBY: Tempt them? Ye of little faith. I said the Hail Mary five minutes ago.
ALEX: Not on pod.
BOBBY: Yeah, I did. I only whispered it.
ALEX: Oh. Really?
BOBBY: Just the beginning.
ALEX: Can you turn it up when— in the final production?
BOBBY: Dude, what is left over from your Catholic education? People don’t know this. We don’t talk about this on the pod that you—
ALEX: We don’t talk about this on the pod.
BOBBY: — you went— you grew up going to Catholic school.
ALEX: Well, I— I went to a Catholic high school—
BOBBY: [32:34]
ALEX: —right? So I went to public school.
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: And then—
BOBBY: Well, even then you went to a private Catholic school, but like in Berkeley.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: So—
ALEX: So it’s like Catholic is kind of in scare quotes, you know?
BOBBY: But this— this will be great for your honorary Italian-American citizenship application.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: If you know stuff about Catholicism. Because all of us, it’s just like— it’s in the bloodstream.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: You know? the Apostles Creed, roll that one out of the party.
ALEX: Jesus. I don’t— I never— I never— never learned that one.
BOBBY: Come on, dawg.
ALEX: I’d— I’ll— Hail Mary—
BOBBY: You got the Our Father in there?
ALEX: I got the Our Father.
BOBBY: Okay. That’s good enough.
ALEX: I’m not gonna— I’m not gonna say it on pod. Hail Mary, the Lord is—
BOBBY: You know how to make Bolognese?
ALEX: —with thee. I do.
BOBBY: Great.
ALEX: Blessed—
BOBBY: Two for two.
ALEX: —are—
BOBBY: When my sister—
ALEX: —those who walk amongst men.
BOBBY: They are, but that’s not what the prayer is.
ALEX: And those who make Bolognese—
BOBBY: Bordering on offensive now.
[laughter]
BOBBY: When my sister met her then boyfriend, now husband— sorry, now partner, my uncle texted her and said he has to get these three questions right or you have to break up with him. And the three questions were, what are the ingredients of spaghetti carbonara? I’m like “First of all, you gave away one of the ingredients, it’s right there in the name.” Define— or— or describe broccoli rabe.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: That was the second question. The third question, which I thought was the hardest, is who is Mario Lanza? And that one will be the stumper for you, huh?
ALEX: That’ll be— that’ll be the reason that I’m— I’m not invited on the pod.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: It’s okay. I’ll be cheering for you from the [34:23]
BOBBY: He was like one of the— he was like one of the crooners, you know? He was like knock-off Sinatra.
ALEX: Got it.
BOBBY: I’m sure that’s like slanderous. Sorry to the Lanza estate. All right, your third down.
ALEX: My third down is I think just watching this Steve Cohen casino saga unfold, right? I mean, like the most recent news was that New York State Senator Jessica Ramos announced that she’s not introducing legislation— the legislation required to advance the project, right?
BOBBY: I have this as one of my ups, so maybe we can just talk about this—
ALEX: Oh, all right. All right.
BOBBY: Like, no casino is one of my ups.
ALEX: Yeah. All right.
BOBBY: But we could just talk about this as a— this is like a straight down the middle Tipping Pitches topic.
ALEX: Yes. Yeah, it is. She basically announced that, like, she— the legislation, like, for the quote, “ballpark village” will advance but the casino aspect of that is left out.
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: Right? That was my understanding of it.
BOBBY: Yes. She cosigned—
ALEX: Because she’s like the—
BOBBY: —the hotel, right? And the restaurant, the Hard Rock Cafe hotel and resort or whatever, but not the casino.
ALEX: Right, exactly. And I— this feels like such a microcosm of how baseball truly does interplay with, like, the broader political forces in our society, right? Because the way the story is framed, is that Jessica Ramos blocked this deal.
BOBBY: Uh-hmm.
ALEX: Because she says, you know, based on her own research, “75% of my constituents don’t want a casino in their backyard.”
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Right? And so now it’s up to Steve Cohen to find a way around Jessica Ramos to get his casino built.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: But, like, no, it’s not. That’s it. It’s over. The person who represents the place where you want to build this, says, “Hey, most of us don’t want it.” I don’t know, that feels like in most cases that would be the end of the road. But obviously, this is going to be a drawn out process, and he’s still—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —you know— he can still go and try to acquire his gaming license and Ramos has no control over that. So it’s like—
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: —this is where it becomes this very esoteric backroom deal laid in project.
BOBBY: Does Steve Cohen have any history with any things going on, sort of like under the table? Like, some things happen above the table.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You know? By the Mets Republic thing.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: But under the table.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Like when you go from above—
ALEX: Like [36:47]
BOBBY: —when you go from above the table to under the table.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Steve Cohen have any anything on the Wikipedia page there?
ALEX: I don’t know. That’s a good question, Bobby.
BOBBY: I’ll look into that.
ALEX: Maybe someone can look into that.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I thought her statement was very good.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Very reasonable.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: To— toed the line of still trying to appear— appear American. It’s this very, like elected official.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You know, like, while I support, you know, economic advancement, I don’t— it— you know, like, without being, “I hate all you rich motherfuckers.” But it was just talking— the statement alluded to the fact that— it actually talks a lot about green space, you know?
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: in the statement, because where the ballpark village will expand into Corona Park, which is in Flushing Meadows, which is where Citi Field is. And she also had something in there, which I found pretty compelling and interesting about how we don’t have to just say thank you for the, like, measly portion of a rich person’s project that we actually get.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Like, we can acknowledge the fact that yes, we do need jobs in this part of— in this part of the city, or in this part of the world, or whatever. But we can say, “Yeah, you guys put us in this position.”
ALEX: Right?
BOBBY: You know what I mean? We don’t have to say thank you for giving a— giving us a project that will give some of us jobs, but will actually ultimately benefit one person the most, and in this case, Steve Cohen and the Hard Rock Casino people. But, you know, she also was against the Amazon expansion into Queens too, a few years ago. And so good statement.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: State Senator Jessica Ramos, come on the pod. Okay, my third and final down. We lost a real one. Angel Hernandez, conned before his time.
ALEX: Conned before his time.
BOBBY: Why start the year and then retire in May?
ALEX: I don’t know.
BOBBY: I guess it’s kind of like you cash a few more checks. He probably made like $50,000 since the start of the season.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: And now he retires right when the weather gets nice. I guess that’s pretty good.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: The down here is that he retired and we still, Alex, we still don’t have a statement from the MLB Umpires Union. What the hell?
ALEX: It’s a— actually a travesty.
BOBBY: It’s a crisis.
ALEX: If— actually, if we’re being honest, I am not entirely certain that MLB Umpires Union still exists. I mean, yes, functionally, of course, it does. But like there is no discernible presence of it. Its website does not load. They haven’t— they haven’t tweeted in, like, three years.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: You know?
BOBBY: Do you think that’s because of wokeness?
ALEX: I think it is because of wokeness.
BOBBY: Did wokeness get them?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Obviously, when I say, “We lost a real one this week,” I’m actually referring to Bill Walton.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Who was like one of the realest athletes to ever live. And I didn’t— I don’t think I realized that he was sick.
ALEX: I don’t think I did, either.
BOBBY: I mean, I know that he has had like various health complications over the years. But you know, Bill Walton, for people listening, he did cross over into the baseball world a couple times, where he would call games, but legendary college and NBA basketball player, played on the epic like 1960s and ’70s UCLA teams. I think he was actually only there in the ’70s, but was a member of the Portland— longtime member of the Portland Trail Blazers, part of the Boston Celtics 1980s dynasty teams. But also just like one of the most interesting human beings who has ever lived or has ever like risen to celebrity status in our culture. Legendary deadhead, legendary anti-war activist, legendary vegan. You know, like just a real like, “I live life to the fullest at all moments” kind of guy. I got to meet him when I was doing the Jackie MacMullan’s NBA pod and he’s just— is like that, man. Jackie was like, “I have a hard out two hours from now and I only need him for one story. And I don’t know if I’m gonna hit this hard out.” But really just like RIP to him.
ALEX: Yeah, I mean—
BOBBY: That is an actual down.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: I put the Angel Hernandez thing because it— it is more Tipping Pitches-related. And I just don’t know if we’re gonna check that off of our Bingo Card because it seems like they’re just sleeping on the—
ALEX: I think— I think they’re [41:24] it in.
BOBBY: They’re sleeping on the job.
ALEX: Yeah. No one wants to work anymore.
BOBBY: The all like—
ALEX: It’s quite unfortunate.
BOBBY: —highlight compilations of Angel Hernandez is worst calls.
ALEX: I know. It’s like— I mean, to be fair, I wouldn’t want a highlight compilation of my own worst fuck-ups at work, but like also some of them were pretty brutal.
BOBBY: Nah, man. I don’t make mistakes at work.
ALEX: I know you don’t.
BOBBY: Never do. Never have, never will.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: You know what— you know what really pisses me off about Angel Hernandez?
ALEX: What’s that?
BOBBY: His strike call is so self-aggrandizing, where he shoots his hand all the way up in the air, hand open, and then dramatically puts it into a fist to indicate every strike that he calls. It’s like, of course, when you call the wrong call and you’re doing all that, people are gonna get extra annoyed. Anyway—
ALEX: I— I—
BOBBY: —I hope he enjoys retirement and—
ALEX: I see him ex— as— I see that as him exercising his right to free umpiring, you know?
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: It’s like you can umpire however you want.
BOBBY: I think that—
ALEX: You may not like it, but I respect your right to umpire.
BOBBY: We need to— we need to put out like public challenges to the MLB Umpires Association. Like, we need to start like accusing them of being soft and weak.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And they’ve been lapped—
ALEX: Baiting them. You want to bait the MLB Umpires Association?
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: I think that they are loser baby cucks. [42:44]
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And I think that they’ve fallen out of favor both in baseball and in the culture. And I think that it’s high time that they find a new Cowboy Joe, that they find a new renegade leader to bring them into this modern era, to beat back against the robots. To tell them, “No, sir. You will not take our job away from us. Mr. Manfred. You’re out of here in 2029.” To get some dirt on Morgan Sword. You know, to ho— Stevie agrees. “By any means necessary,” she says. “We must bring the MLB Umpires Association into the 2020s and 2030s as strong as they’ve ever been.”
ALEX: I really— can you imagine if like the— the relationship that umpires had with Rob Manfred was like the NYPD and Bill de Blasio? Can you imagine if like umpires refuse to, like, face him, you know? Like, Manfred would walk in the stadium and they would all, like, turn towards centerfield.
BOBBY: Not only can—
ALEX: Can you imagine someone filming a campaign video that ends with, “You’re out of here, Rob Manfred.”? Come on. You have my vote.
BOBBY: Dawg, not only can I imagine it, I dream about it.
ALEX: I know you do. Diamond dreams.
BOBBY: Fuck. We need them.
ALEX: I know. I know.
BOBBY: We, as a podcast, need them.
ALEX: Well, they, like, keep things— they— it’s— they— they preserve a balance in the universe, I think.
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: Right? The counterweight to the work that we do over here.
BOBBY: Okay. Now, let’s go to ups.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: They provide a counterbalance, just like we are going to provide a counter— counterbalance to the growing up Italian—
ALEX: I thought you were gonna say—
BOBBY: —meme page.
ALEX: —counterbalance to the downs, because we’re doing the ups.
BOBBY: No, no, no. No. No. That’s—
ALEX: You’re like, “that’s— that— that’s too stupid.” You just keep going, I’m gonna let Stevie out. You know, she’s gotta eat.
ALEX: Yep.
BOBBY: But I’m listening.
ALEX: That’s all right. I’m— I’m— I’m finding this this next up. This is a— this is a quick one, but this comes from Las Vegas Locally, the news site. Developers are demolishing the Tropicana structure, whatever it resides on that site right now.
BOBBY: Uh-huh. Tropicana, like where the Rays play?
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-huh.
BOBBY: Jeffrey Epstein, New York financier?
ALEX: And they— and they tweeted a photo of the, like, backhoe that— I— I suppose there’s a septic tank that resides under that site.
BOBBY: Uh-hmm.
ALEX: That— that they didn’t prepare for. And so here, you can see the photo of the backhoe that has—
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: —fallen into the Earth, into the septic tank. And I just really appreciate the synergy of the universe sometimes.
BOBBY: Hmm.
ALEX: I just really, really do. This does more to convince me of God’s existence than four years of Catholic school.
BOBBY: All those Hail Marys didn’t do it, but now, folks—
ALEX: But now, like, there is a God and he has a sense of humor.
BOBBY: We got ’em. No, God’s sense of humor was allowing Dwayne The Rock Johnson to break the Bin Laden assassination live at WWE.
ALEX: Oh, we used to be a country, man.
BOBBY: A, lot of people see God in like nature, and I see God in stuff like that. And you do too, and that’s why we host this podcast together.
ALEX: Yeah. Exactly. All right. What’s your first— what’s your second up?
BOBBY: Yes, my second— my first up was that no casino for Uncle Steve. Just another— in a series of L’s for the Mets this year.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Got ’em. My second up is I was at the Mets game yesterday. Nothing good about that.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: Nothing good about the game itself. I showed up, they blew the save the second I got into the stadium. They promptly lost by giving up a home run to noted Mets enemy, Freddie Freeman, in the top of the 10th. Then they did not score in the bottom of the 10th, which is just great. And then in the second game of the single admission doubleheader, which I was attending, Ohtani did not play, so I didn’t even get to watch him. And then the Mets the Mets were able— they were able to string together three hits over the course of the whole game. Three hits, two of them were bloop single to left field. No runs.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Hmm.
BOBBY: Tough night at the ballpark. However, these guys behind me—
ALEX: The guys talking about Jomboy?
BOBBY: No, different guys. These guys behind me made it all worth it. Did you see what I tweeted from the Tipping Pitches account, the Samsung ad?
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: Citi Field has this thing this year where they sell all of the ad space on the LED screens to the same company for each inning. So it’s like you see 15 of the same ads all around the ballpark, and this was an ad for Samsung. And the caption said, “Bespoke AI Appliances.” Not just appliances. Not just to Bespoke appliances. And not just AI appliances, but Bespoke AI appliances.
ALEX: I have always wondered where I could get those.
BOBBY: You live sort of—
ALEX: I’ve always wondered what those are, but—
BOBBY: You— you live sort of a bespoke life.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You know, like you’re really pro bespoke guy.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Like most—
ALEX: Define bespoke for me.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: It’s like— it’s like handmade, right? That’s— something like that?
BOBBY: I always— like I kind of like know what it means, but I was just gonna let the context do the work.
ALEX: It’s one of those things where it’s like—
[laughter]
ALEX: Right. It’s like you know when you see it. You can’t describe it, but—
BOBBY: Bespoke is like the opposite of cheugy [48:40], you know?
ALEX: Yeah, it is.
BOBBY: Yeah, yeah. Bespoke is like, “Oh, that’s kind of like one of one. You know, that looks authentic. That looks— that looks nice.” Like handmade, like you were saying.
ALEX: Right, yeah.
BOBBY: In this case, it would be kind of like, “Oh, it appear— that appears to be craft man-like.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Bespoke—
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: —AI Appliances. I’m just gonna keep saying it, because I just kept— feeding it in my head, Bespoke AI Appliances, Bespoke AI Appliances. Now saying it out loud, just like in the fetal position, and the 400 section—
ALEX: Right, yeah.
BOBBY: —of Citi Field. And these guys behind me definitely heard me saying it, because about 30 seconds later— they were speaking Japanese most of the night. About 30 seconds later, I heard them still speaking in Japanese, but insert the English phrase “Bespoke AI Appliances” into their conversation in Japanese. And I just was like, “You know what? Tip of the cap, guys.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: You, me, we’re all— we might be speaking a different language, we might be rooting for different teams, but we are united on this— in this front about the ridiculousness of Bespoke AI Appliances. Bridging the gap, crossing the aisle. You know, the universal human experience is thinking that is a dumb fucking ad.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I loved it. It was great.
ALEX: But— but you failed to consider that it is a whole new ballgame with AI, so like, what were you expecting? I think they’re trying to all one up each other at this point.
BOBBY: Dawg, like I’m staunchly anti-AI in an actually serious way.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Like, I think that it is ruining our lives, not because it’s gonna, like, take over the world, like Terminator or anything like that. But just because it’s an easy place for companies to hoodwink themselves into putting money in places where it shouldn’t go.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: [50:29]
ALEX: It don’t— I mean, it doesn’t help that it’s burning the Earth, either.
BOBBY: Right. Well, maybe we should burn the Earth faster.
ALEX: Maybe it is helping burning the Earth.
BOBBY: I’m an accelerationist but for climate change. Did you watch— did you watch Three-Body Problem?
ALEX: No, not yet.
BOBBY: Well, this doesn’t work them.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: All right, keep it pushing. But every once in a while, it’s nice to have something that is so universally stupid, that everybody can just be like, “This is so stupid.” And last night that was Bespoke AI Appliances. It’s perfect. It’s perfect. Like, I want to get it tattooed on me.
ALEX: Yeah. Bespoke AI Appliances.
BOBBY: AI Appliances. Which— given the choice, which plants in your apartment would you like most to replace with a Bespoke AI Appliance? Like, in your— your day-to-day life, like you know, you get up, get ready for work, go through your life. You’re like, “Fuck, man. My life would be so improved if I had a bespoke AI what?”
ALEX: Toilet. I don’t need it to do very much for me. I would just like a little interaction. “Hey, big one today, buddy. Are you eating all right?” Like, I don’t need it to do anything. I just want some companionship. I know a toilet isn’t like an appliance, but like—
BOBBY: Sure, it is.
ALEX: Is it?
BOBBY: Yeah. Why not?
ALEX: Okay. I don’t know. I think of appliance is like something you like plug in.
BOBBY: That’s probably true.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: But I don’t— you could plug in a toilet if it was AI-powered.
ALEX: Absolutely could.
BOBBY: Have you ever seen one of those Japanese toilets that has all of those buttons on the side? Like, controlling the bidet and all of that stuff?
ALEX: I mean, I’ve seen a bidet before.
BOBBY: Dude, they’re insane.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You’ve seen a bidet? No way. I’m talking about something specific.
ALEX: No. Then I— then I haven’t, no.
BOBBY: I feel so crazy. Like, I feel so crazy. Just Bespoke AI Appliances is just like— I don’t know, man. Still recovering from that.
ALEX: Yeah. Is there an appliance that— that you would like to have, Be— Bespoke and—
BOBBY: AI-powered.
ALEX: —-AI-powered?
BOBBY: Well, a lot of listeners— a lot of listeners probably know this, because I think that I’ve made this joke on The Big Picture, but I do tweet from my Fridge only, I tweet from my fridge.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: Never tweet from my phone. I always go over to my fridge and then, like, send from my Samsung fridge.
ALEX: Right. So you— but you want to upgrade that one, though?
BOBBY: Right. I want it—
ALEX: To be AI-powered?
BOBBY: AI tweets sent from my fridge. Dawg, you can just put AI in front of, like, literally anything.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And you can justify a $20 million ad spend on that?
ALEX: Uh-hmm. This podcast is now AI-powered, guys.
BOBBY: Don’t even joke about that.
ALEX: I know. I shouldn’t— I shouldn’t put that out in the universe.
BOBBY: Bespoke AI Cardigans?
ALEX: That’s like a— that’s like a dog whistle for the, like, worst LinkedIn influencers you’ve ever heard.
BOBBY: Dude,
ALEX: You can— wait, shh. If you— if you are quiet enough, you can hear them running.
BOBBY: The LinkedIn people? They— they— they’re always just like, “Bobby, I want to make your job easier. “
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “I want to— I need to.” They’re like the Joker, you know?
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: They just want to watch—
ALEX: “You want to know how I got these leads?”
BOBBY: They just wanna watch my workflow burn, you know?
They’re not even in it for the money. They’re like, “I’ll do it for free.”
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: And there’s so many of them because so many people want to work at The Ringer, so many people want to work at Spotify, so they’re always just like, “Listen, I’m a podcast promoter and I’m also— I also have AI tools to help your podcast once we promote it.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: It’s— it’s— like even, you know, headliner, which we use—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —to make breakouts of our podcast. They have a monthly limit as to how many things they will transcribe for you for free, using their transcription— automatic— automated transcription technology. There’s a monthly limit, but when I hit that limit, I just go to a different part of their website because they have another feature that doesn’t have a monthly limit that is AI-powered transcripts.
ALEX: Oh, my God.
BOBBY: It’s just not—
ALEX: Wait, so you’re telling me this podcast actually is AI-powered?
BOBBY: Yeah, dude, and they suggest titles for it.
ALEX: Wow.
BOBBY: The titles are epic. It’s always like— the titles are always just like, “Mookie Betts is the hero that we’ve always wanted and deserved and loved on Dodgers.”
ALEX: It’s— it’s true. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
BOBBY: Like they really understand our brand, you know? Yeah, unfortunately, some parts of this podcast are AI-powered.
ALEX: You can’t escape it. I mean, you literally can’t.
BOBBY: I’m not gonna sit there and type out. I actually tried— I actually tried to go to, like, the— the— the text app, like the built-in text app on— on Mac, but it won’t let you save it in the format that you need to tie it to a video. Like, it needs to be in VTT—
ALEX: Hmm. Right.
BOBBY: —or SRT. And it just won’t let you export it in that. And I’m like, “I’m not downloading, like, the MediaFire”— like I’m not doing— I’m not downloading like the VLC media thing. Like—
ALEX: Yeah. See, that’s why we’re different, brother.
BOBBY: I just want Bespoke AI transcripts.
ALEX: I know you do, I know. I know you do so badly. It’s coming, buddy. It’s coming.
BOBBY: Bespoke AI elevator. Please do your next up.
ALEX: All right. So baseball—
BOBBY: If no one sends this to someone and says you have to subscribe to this Patreon, I will consider this whole episode a failure. Like, that’s some of our best stuff, Bespoke Ai Appliances.
ALEX: It’s some of our stuff. Like, no doubt about that. My second up, are you familiar with Jeremiah Estrada? You— you heard of them?
BOBBY: Yeah. Yeah.
ALEX: Yeah. He’s in the midst of something pretty cool right— right now. He is— has currently struck out 13 consecutive hitters. All swinging, I might add, which is—
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: —which is the— this is the first time anyone has done this, at least knowingly, at least back to, like, the ’50s when we started, like, recording all of these things.
BOBBY: Is it the first time someone’s done it all swinging? Or the first time someone’s done it at all?
ALEX: I believe it’s the first time someone’s done it at all.
BOBBY: Okay. I’m impressed. It’s kind of a bummer that it’s not all in the same game.
ALEX: You said do better. Be a starter. No, I mean, it’s a— it’s a cool story. It’s a— it’s a very like quintessential baseball story, right? He was put on waivers by the Cubs six months ago, and now here he is closing out games for the Padres and— and breaking records. And you know what he’s doing to celebrate breaking those records?
BOBBY: What’s he doing to celebrate?
ALEX: The exact same fucking thing I would do if I lived in Southern California and going to—
BOBBY: Purchase Bespoke AI Appliances?
ALEX: —In-N-Out Burger.
BOBBY: Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.
ALEX: Animal fries, Double-Double action. Posted on his IG story, said, “Had to celebrate.” And— and I salute him. I tip my cap to him.
BOBBY: What’s your In-N-Out order? Animal fries, Double-Double? How do you take your Double-Double?
ALEX: I— I usually do animal style.
BOBBY: For both?
ALEX: Yeah, I don’t always do animal fries, though.
BOBBY: I do.
ALEX: Sometimes it’s a little— you what?
BOBBY: I always do both.
ALEX: Yeah. Okay.
BOBBY: I’m not there to be a baby, like the MLB Umpires Association.
ALEX: No, because I love the, like, grilled onions on the burger, you know?
BOBBY: Uh-hmm. You don’t have to convince me.
ALEX: No, I know.
BOBBY: But the animal style burger, it’s not just the grilled onions on the burger. You can get the grilled onions not animal style.
ALEX: Yeah, yes. No, you’re right.
BOBBY: The key thing about the animal style burger, they fry it in a little bit of mustard.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Well, I think they do that with all their burgers, don’t they?
BOBBY: I don’t think so. I think it’s only the animal style ones.
ALEX: Oh. See, that is the trick I learned when I was trying to recreate my In-N-Out Burgers a couple years ago. The little mustard, hmm.
BOBBY: Mustard is so underrated.
ALEX: Yep.
BOBBY: I got a hot dog at the ballpark last night, little mustard, little relish.
ALEX: Oof.
BOBBY: Now, we’re living.
ALEX: Now, we are living.
BOBBY: Now, we’re living. In-N-Out, great.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Great work by him.
ALEX: I just— he’s— he’s doing it for us.
BOBBY: Are the Padres good? The greatest argument in the history—
ALEX: [59:20]
BOBBY: —if we’re locked by moderators—
ALEX: I’m trying to talk baseball right now for real.
BOBBY: —after 12,000 comments. Is Jerry Dipoto a good GM? I don’t know. Is AJ Preller a good GM? I don’t know.
ALEX: I really— no.
BOBBY: Is there such a thing as a good GM? Early evidence on David Stearns says no. Okay, my third and final up.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Do you want to talk anymore about bespoke AI Appliances or should we move on?
ALEX: I mean, I— I do actually have a lot more to say on that, but I’m gonna also save it for another podcast.
BOBBY: Save it for the main feed, save it for the main feed.
Okay, my third and final up is I learned— you earlier in this here episode, you said you shared that— wow. Only recording for 70 minutes. It feels like we’ve been going for two hours.
ALEX: Yeah, it does.
BOBBY: You shared that The Washington Examiner decried how MLB is part of the wokification of our modern society and language. Unfortunately, not only have we lost Major League Baseball and the Phillies booth, you know, we’ve lost the defense contractors, too. And my third and— my third and final up this week is the funniest thing I saw—
ALEX: I’m so glad you’re doing this.
BOBBY: —all week, which was that there’s a new website out there called buywokefree.com. This is just one of many grifts that we’ve seen on the right, where it’s like, “You don’t want to buy Bud Light, you want to buy woke beer.” And they like— they’re like, “We’re making a woke beer,” and they like shoot Bud Light with a gun.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And then they, like, try to shotgun, you know, they’re off label Keystone Light, you know?
ALEX: Right. Yeah.
BOBBY: And now we have that but for all companies. I think Buy Woke-Free is just in beta, though, because it didn’t have very many companies on their website.
ALEX: Well, they don’t— they don’t have a lot of like woke companies, right? They have like two or three dozen woke companies. But they do have far more unwoke companies.
BOBBY: Like, yeah, the alternative companies.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So it’s supposed to be a website for good,—true American patriots to go to, to find out where they should be diverting their money towards. It’s sort of like mutual aid for anti-wokeness. And they have companies on their website that they’re like, “Don’t shop here because they’re too woke now.” And I did go— I went to go look for Major League Baseball, unfortunately, Buy-Woke-Free has not weighed in on Major League Baseball yet. I— I anxiously await it.
ALEX: It’s coming.
BOBBY: You know? It’s like when a new album comes out and you’re like waiting for the Pitchfork Review. But Buy Woke-Free did weigh in on noted Texas Rangers sponsor, Lockheed Martin. Are you familiar with Lockheed Martin’s work?
ALEX: I’ve heard of ’em.
BOBBY: Yeah. And you— you support everything that they do? Anyway, Buy Woke-Free rated Lockheed Martin on their little scale extremely woke.
ALEX: And you’re— you’re happy to— to know that they’re on our side, is that what— this is— that’s why this is your up?
BOBBY: Well, now that they’re part of the wokification of America, and now, you know, they’re part of the, I don’t know, the Marxist-Leninist movement, I’m like, “We finally got some munitions on this side of the fight.” We’re always just like fighting— fights with our iced coffees, and we finally what we need to make some real change. No. I put this on my ups, because it’s just so funny.
ALEX: Yeah. So, of course.
BOBBY: It’s so— like, I laughed so hard at the idea of Lockheed Martin being woke. Like. they make the F35.
ALEX: Yeah. Like, what else do you need?
BOBBY: They make warheads. I mean, like, what does woke mean in this context?
ALEX: Yeah. I— I mean— I mean [1:03:22]
BOBBY: They probably tweeted, like, for Pride month last year or something, and that makes them, quote, “extremely woke.”
ALEX: Yeah, I think— I mean— and you can go in and see, right? They talked about why—
BOBBY: I didn’t want to, like, do too much clicking around on the buywokefree.com.
ALEX: No, I did. I gave them the clicks.
BOBBY: That’s fine. That’s fine.
ALEX: I don’t care, whatever. I was like, “They have 200 followers, they’re not getting very many clicks right now.” So, like, yeah, they include their like— the fact that they have like a diversity and inclusion report that they release, you know?
BOBBY: Hmm. Hmm.
ALEX: Which is so fucked up if you ask me. Just another sign of the moral rot embedded in our culture.
BOBBY: What is Lockheed Martin putting on that? I always wonder what— with these companies like that— that are just pure evil, what the point is? Why are they going through that effort, you know? Like, why is McKinsey putting out like their 10 rules about how to pick— how to choose— to consult morally. Like what— what do you— what? There’s nothing left to lose here, guys.
ALEX: Yeah, right. You— you have stuff like the— the like— oh, he’s the Chairman, the President, and the CEO of Lockheed Martin. Fucking pick one, dude. Come— oh, come on. Come on.
BOBBY: Title inflation.
ALEX: He’s like— he’s like striving to maintain a diverse workforce and an inclusive work environment. It’s not only the right thing to do, it is a business imperative.
BOBBY: I just don’t think it’s—
ALEX: Fucking [1:04:48] if you ask me.
BOBBY: I love how Lockheed Martin is on buywokefree.com. Like implying that, again, this is like what I was talking about with half of the MLB advertisers. I can’t actually use their product.
ALEX: No, I know. Yeah.
BOBBY: I can’t buy from Lockheed Martin. I’m not the IDF.
ALEX: So—
BOBBY: I can’t— go to lockheedmartin.com right now, what’s available for purchase? Absolutely nothing.
ALEX: Mercy. You can get some merch.
BOBBY: Dude, you should buy some Lockheed Martin merch.
ALEX: Oh, yeah?
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: I just want to point out when you go to the non-woke section, and click on aerospace and defense, guess what? There’s nothing fucking there, because there’s like, seven defense companies and they all do the exact same thing.
BOBBY: Seven is a lot. It’s high.
ALEX: That is probably high. Yeah.
BOBBY: I don’t think I could name four.
ALEX: Raytheon, Lockheed Martin.
BOBBY: Those are the big ones.
ALEX: That’s— those are— those kind of the ones. They’re here.
BOBBY: I don’t got any others.
Alex I mean, like that, you know, there are a lot of like— like, Boeing is not a de—
BOBBY: Oh.
ALEX: —defense company primarily.
BOBBY: No, they’re an offense company. They’re out here playing offense on all the whistleblowers.
ALEX: They are. Now, I— I should note, we can get listed here. We can submit ourselves, we could submit our business for submission on buywokefree.com.
BOBBY: Can we submit someone else’s business?
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: Can we submit Jomboy? Can we submit MLB? I want to know what they have to say.
ALEX: Yeah. That’s actually not a bad idea. I have to assume— right, there— there’s a big get listed button, and I assume the point is like, this is basically just free— free mark—
BOBBY: There’s a big, red button, you should click it.
ALEX: This is basically just like free marketing for brands that, like style themselves as like—
BOBBY: As anti-woke.
ALEX: —as like anti-woke or whatever.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: And I think that’s mostly what this is a vehicle for. But I have to assume they do some due diligence. If I— if I put Major League Baseball, and then they wouldn’t just put them in there as an anti-woke company. God, that’s such a good idea.
BOBBY: Thank you.
ALEX: All right. I’m gonna do that right after we finish recording.
BOBBY: I’m full of good ideas.
ALEX: You are. We don’t— we don’t have to talk about this anymore. It’s not—
BOBBY: You should submit the individual teams, like—
ALEX: And— and make them each rate—
BOBBY: Yes.
ALEX: —each of the teams?
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: The wokest team is who? There was one team that like didn’t put out a statement or something— oh, there was one team that had like an actual statement for Pride Night. Which team was that?
ALEX: It was the Orioles, I think.
BOBBY: Oh, yeah. Yeah, they’re probably the wokest team.
ALEX: They— they are prob— probably the weakest team. Ironically, the prob— the not wokest team is the Texas Rangers.
BOBBY: Yep. Not now, though.
ALEX: Well. Guilt by association.
BOBBY: They’re third— third with Lockheed Martin. Okay. What’s your third and final up? My third and final up is a little jaunt. I’m taking next week—
BOBBY: Are— are you going to be on a Boeing?
ALEX: Oh, Jesus. I know, I always get my heart leaps for joy when I see the low airbus, like, designator.
BOBBY: I prefer to call them airbus.
ALEX: Yeah, okay.
BOBBY: Yeah. In their native tongue.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: It’s crazy that there’s not like a third airplane company.
ALEX: I— is it— are you that— are you that shocked? Are you really that shocked?
BOBBY: But airplanes fly all over the world and the world has, you know, more regulation than America. How did that happen?
ALEX: I don’t know.
BOBBY: You’re flying private, though, so it doesn’t matter.
ALEX: Right. Yes, I know. Right. So the— so the MLB series is coming up in London. I’m gonna be in London. I’m not going to the series, obviously. I don’t give a shit. No, I—
BOBBY: Not now that you know that the Mets aren’t the anti-wokest team.
ALEX: Yeah, seriously. What do you think, Mets, Phillies? Who’s woker?
BOBBY: The Phillies are woker.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: The Mets fans are woker, but the Phillies players are woker. I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore. I don’t—
ALEX: I don’t even know. This is— this— once again, we’re— we’re back to like words don’t fucking mean anything and—
BOBBY: No, they don’t. But the Phillies are, you know, very romantic with each other, and their announcer was the one that did the whole partner thing.
ALEX: That’s true.
BOBBY: I don’t know. The Mets have Keith, Hugh [1:09:09] himself.
ALEX: I’ll— I’ll be doing a little on the ground reporting, boots on the ground. That’s what we’d like to do. Famously on this podcast, we get out there. We put our boots on the ground and we do real live reporting. So I feel very prepared to do that in another country where I don’t speak the language.
BOBBY: You don’t speak the language?
ALEX: Have you ever listened to them speak?
BOBBY: Bro, but you have a good British accent.
ALEX: That’s—
BOBBY: That’s one of the things that listeners of this podcast don’t know about you because you’re too afraid to— to whip it out.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You make me do all the accent work.
ALEX: Off to see the MLB Series in London.
BOBBY: Yes. Yes. Yes. This podcast was worth it. So—
ALEX: Absolute [1:09:58] Belter to right field.
BOBBY: So basic—
ALEX: I might even have myself a— a hot dog and a pint.
BOBBY: That was a little Australian.
ALEX: That was— that was— I kind of lost it there.
BOBBY: You’re getting ready for Furiosa tomorrow night. So if you’re going to be in the London— if you’re going to be at the London series and you’re listening to this right now, you should call Alex. His number is 516— sorry, 510.
ALEX: Yeah, there you go.
BOBBY: 516 is Long Island.
ALEX: Yeah. I thought you were intentionally doing that to throw people off the scent, but—
BOBBY: I’m giving you a 516 number so that we could complete the Ital— honorary Italian-American application.
ALEX: Oh, there we go.
BOBBY: See, I can always bring it back. Come on, come on.
ALEX: Come on. Let’s do it.
BOBBY: You can’t catch me slippin’.
ALEX: You’re such a fucking producer, man.
BOBBY: I’m such a pro. Come on. Years and years of this, pretend like I’m not a pro. I’m a pro. Only— the other thing that can throw me off my game, Bespoke AI Appliances.
ALEX: Of course, It’s like— it worms its way into your brain and doesn’t leave.
BOBBY: So your third and final up is you’re— you’re going to the London series?
ALEX: Yeah, that’s it. It’ll be fun.
BOBBY: I’m excited to hear your dispatches from London series, I will not be making the trip. But we will be—
ALEX: Someone has to— has to man the boards back here, you know?
BOBBY: We can’t— we’re like— we’re like the president and the vice-president. We’re not allowed to be on the same airplane, especially a Boeing. Because if it goes down—
ALEX: For real.
BOBBY: —who’s gonna keep on— who’s gonna keep doing the— the righteous work here?
ALEX: Right. Stevie?
BOBBY: You know?
ALEX: She could, but—
BOBBY: Who’s gonna be the person who’s going to talk about Bespoke AI Appliances on this baseball podcast?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And but I’m excited to see what you— how many British people you can offend with your accent. And yes, we will be doing a special, sort of Alex’s week in London at the London series episode. Not this upcoming Monday, but the week after that. So the week after the series, which will be the 10th or whatever. And hopefully, some— some bonus— some Patreon bonus content from the London series as well. Have that in the— we have that cooking in the oven. I looked at— I looked at Yankees tickets last night—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —for the weekend that you’re at the London series.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Because the Dodgers are going to be coming into town to play the Yankees [1:12:20] it might be nice to actually go see the Dodgers and be able to enjoy it. That’s who I saw last night played the Mets.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I don’t know if you know this, but it’s really expensive to go to Yankee Stadium. But maybe I’ll put a— maybe I’ll make it a business expense and while I hear that—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —you’re like, “Boots on the ground reporting.”
ALEX: We’re— we’re [1:12:41]
BOBBY: Reporting about the London Series. I’m gonna be your boots on the ground reporting about the true American patriot series.
ALEX: You absolutely should.
BOBBY: The Yankees and the Dodgers.
ALEX: Getting back and [1:12:49] to your Italian roots— Italian-American roots.
BOBBY: Oh, I can wear my Italian Pride Night Dodgers hat.
ALEX: Yes. Yes.
Bobbby: That was friend— friend of the podcast, listener of the show, Francesca sent me two years ago. Fuck, this is such a good idea.
ALEX: And then whatever Jersey we’re wearing is just half-buttoned. What you usually do anyway, so—
BOBBY: I do. I actually do.
ALEX: I think— I think— I think we’ve reached emotional breaking point, Bobby, in this podcast.
BOBBY: It just really cuts deep when you, like, point out all of the things that are stereotypical about me.
ALEX: You actually do.
BOBBY: You’re like, “Oh, you are wracked with guilt from your Catholic upbringing, and you do dress like the traditional Italian-American male dresses like, you know? And you— you wear all the jewelry and you’re”— it’s just really fun. It’s just— it’s [1:13:39]
ALEX: Yeah. [1:13:39]
BOBBY: Do I have a Dodgers jersey? I don’t think I do. And now, you can’t buy a jersey anymore, because of wokeness.
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: Because Fanatics. I don’t think I do, but I’ll, like, wear [1:13:54] Miners Dodgers shirt.
ALEX: Easy. Lock it in.
BOBBY: This is a great idea.
ALEX: You actually should— wait, so how much were tickets?
BOBBY: They were like a $115.
ALEX: Oh, my God.
BOBBY: For the cheapest tickets.
ALEX: I was really hoping they were not going to be triple digits.
BOBBY: That— I think that one of— the Sunday game was like 75.
ALEX: Oh, great.
BOBBY: Cheapest ones. How can you lose that in, you know—
ALEX: Right. I’d lose that in a day of sports betting. Like—
BOBBY: I was gonna say you lose that in a week of investing on A-Rod’s stock.
ALEX: There you go.
BOBBY: All right. Well played.
ALEX: Oh.
BOBBY: Well done.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Thanks, everybody for listening to this week’s Patreon episode. I gotta say the Patreon episodes are like— they are so much better than the normal episodes, so if you’re listening to this, and you have somebody who you know listens to the regular episode, but is not a patron, you just gotta let him know about all the great stuff that we’re cooking up over here. We’ll be back on the main feed in just a couple days and we’ll be back Patreon feed with a special London bonus episode in two weeks.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ: Hello, everybody. I’m Alex Rodriguez. Tipping Pitches. Tipping Pitches. This is the one that I love the most. Tipping Pitches. So, we’ll see you next week. See ya!
Tipping Pitches 
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