Bobby and Alex discuss the sale of the Baltimore Orioles to billionaire hedge fund manager David Rubenstein. Then, in one of their most unhinged efforts ever, they run through the Forbes list of the 100 richest people in America to try and find a new owner for the Oakland Athletics.
Links:
Michael Baumann on the sale of the Orioles
Join the Tipping Pitches Patreon
Tipping Pitches merchandise
Songs featured in this episode:
Parquet Courts — “NYC Observation • Booker T & the M.G.’s — “Green Onions”
Transcript
Tell us a little bit about what you saw and be able to relay that message to Cora when you watch Kimbrel pitch and kind of help out so he wasn’t typical pitches. So tipping pitches we hear about it all the time. People are home on the stand what tipping pitches all about? That’s amazing. That’s remarkable.
BOBBY: Can you play that video again?
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: The pod is starting. Play my tune. Play my favorite song.
SPEAKER 3: The Las Vegas A’s. We like the sound of that, right, Vegas? Yeah? Yes? Are— are we alive back there? Las Vegas, how are we feeling? Okay.
BOBBY: Do you think there—
ALEX: What— did she kind of have like the [0:55] there at the end?
BOBBY: We did it, John. Who— who was that woman? She didn’t get paid enough for this.
ALEX: No, she didn’t.
BOBBY: Because she was— that is the definition— so in the podcasting world, we have a term called vamping. You know, when you have to fill air space while someone Googles something, or while someone tries to, you know, formulate a thought in response to your question. Podcast logic says there can be no dead air, or people will look down at their phone and think that it’s shut off or paused itself. And she clearly had to vamp because there were two guys there.
ALEX: There was a lot of dead air.
BOBBY: Well, do you think that they were— play— play the video again, because I think I hear— hear actually two distinct voices. There are so few cheers that I can hear two different guys go, “Woo.”
SPEAKER 3: The Las Vegas A’s. You like the sound of that, right, Vegas? Yeah? Yes? Are— are we alive—
BOBBY: Two different guys, right?
ALEX: Yup. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: There’s like one guy who’s like, “Yeah.” And then there’s another guy who’s like, “Woo.”
ALEX: One of them is Dave Kaval. He’s like— he— he’s like putting his hand—
BOBBY: and the other one is Ross Stripling.
ALEX: He’s putting his hand over his mouth. He’s like, “Woo. Oh, who said that? Oh, yeah.”
BOBBY: The third guy is Alex Wood, but he just clapped. He didn’t yell.
ALEX: I don’t know why I get Alex Wood and Ross Stripling, like, confused in my head sometimes. I really don’t know why it is, because—
BOBBY: One of them is lefty and one of them is righty.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: Well, you have them both now.
ALEX: And one of them— one of them is a stock market genius.
BOBBY: Now that Ross Stripling is on the A’s, think about his portfolio. I mean, he’s got VC money left and right.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: All around him.
ALEX: Yeah. Now, he’s in the heart of Venture Capital.
BOBBY: Frankly, they should keep the A’s in Oakland just because of what it’s going to do to Ross Stripling’s portfolio to have to move to Vegas.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: The casinos are already conglomerates. You can’t break into that market.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You don’t stand a cha— well, are they gonna start a new casino now? Come on. What is this, the 1950s?
ALEX: What a time to be alive.
BOBBY: I want to hear the video one more time.
ALEX: All right. We’ll run it back. Third time’s a charm.
SPEAKER 3: The Las Vegas A’s. We like the sound of that, right, Vegas? Yeah? Yes? Are— are we alive back there? Las Vegas, how are we feeling? Okay. The— we already know the Vegas Sports—
ALEX: I— I really—
BOBBY: What did she go on to say?
ALEX: I don’t— I don’t know, but—
BOBBY: The Vegas Sports Economy? Well— well, that’s not a thing.
ALEX: I’m sitting there as a Las Vegas resident, being like, “I really hope the sports economy is striving this year. That’s something that impacts me on a day-to-day basis.”
BOBBY: I have to show up to school board meetings with a pitchfork to get them to teach my kid algebra. However, the fucking A’s got their money and they’re building a 30,000 seat stadium.” Oh, it’s so great. Dude, the Super Bowl is in Las Vegas this year. We haven’t really talked about that. We could have gone.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: We should— we should have spent some Tipping Pitches capital. We— we knew that the NFL was going to fix it to get Taylor Swift there.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: We knew that that was going to happen. And we should have content calendared our way to it, and we should have gone, and we screwed up. So I’m here to apologize. Just like last week, I apologized for not doing the episode that we’re doing today, last week when it was really slow and we did a bad episode. I’m here for account— account—
ALEX: That’s radical transparency right there.
BOBBY: Exactly. Accountability 2024, this episode is gonna be a hit. This episode’s gonna be a banger. Send it to your— if you’re listening, send it to your friends right now. This is the moment, send it to people because we’re go— today, we are going through the Forbes real-time billionaires list. I think we settled on doing the top 100, as well as some honorable mentions that Alex has from the 300— you know— you gotta be a hipster with the billionaires. You can’t just choose the top 100. Like, you can’t just play— you can’t do top 40 radio. You have to do some deeper dives—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —through the stacks at the record store of the Forbes real time billionaires list and we are going to find someone to purchase with United States Dollars.
ALEX: Or Bitcoin, depending on the industry.
BOBBY: Or stock? Can you do stock acquisitions of baseball teams?
ALEX: Maybe with the Atlanta Braves.
BOBBY: We’re going to find someone to purchase the A’s—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —instead of John Fisher. Someone who is going to ride in on their high horse, who’s going to swoop in and save the A’s. There is just one person out there who can do it, and we are going to land on that person today. Of course, we are also going to talk about the Orioles being—
ALEX: The— the real sale that happened.
BOBBY: We’ll spend a couple of minutes talking about that. But before we do, I am Bobby Wagner.
ALEX: I’m Alex Bazeley.
BOBBY: And you are listening to the Forbes Business Radio Hour.
[theme]
BOBBY: All right. Thank you to this week’s new patrons, Jacob Jackson, Ryan, Lucia, Lucia, depends on what romance language conventions you’re following. I don’t know how you pronounce your name, but I said it both ways. Thank you. And also Gabe. Speaking of patrons, if you are a top tier patron, you know, you’re finally going to receive that holiday card from us, hopefully this week. I put mine in the mail.
ALEX: You did.
BOBBY: I stamped them. They are in a USPS truck somewhere right now, I believe. Shout-out to my homies, USPS. Okay? They’re out there. They’re in the world, they’re circulating. Did— did you do that?
ALEX: No, you— because you have the stamps that I’m— that I’m gonna use for that. But they will— they will be out shortly.
BOBBY: Dude, stamps are kind of— kind of expensive. However, however, I’m not going to do like a “Have you seen what a gallon of milk costs in Joe Biden’s America?” thing. The USPS is a fucking miracle still, to this day, even more so than ever. The fact that you can just put a stamp on a piece of paper and just stick it in a box on the corner, and it gets to where you need to go. One of the greatest things still functioning society.
ALEX: Such a crazy good invention.
BOBBY: It’s so good. It’s so good. It is one of the last things that works. I asked you before we started recording, why is everything 10% worse nowadays? Like my phone works 10% worse, my computer— the battery lasts 10% less. But, you know, USPS still batting a thousand.
ALEX: Still going strong.
BOBBY: Maybe not batting a thousand—
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: —but, like, they’re batting like [7:32] they’re in the hall. They’re in the hall. The Orioles, they were sold to your friend and mine, founding member of the Carlyle Group, David Rubenstein. Where did he rank on your real-time billionaires list? Number 788. I didn’t even know they made the list that long. Co-founder and Co-executive chairman of the Carlyle Group, David Rubenstein, $3.8 billion net worth. He has acquired the Orioles from the Angelos family.
ALEX: Or at least part of the Orioles, for now.
BOBBY: Yes. 40% for now, and then he has an option that he can exercise, like a player option,
in a couple of years.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: But—
ALEX: Well—
BOBBY: —no— notably.
ALEX: Well, not just in a couple of years, specifically when— when one family patriarch passes on.
BOBBY: Yeah, that’s true. He— but notably, he is now the control person.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Even though he only owns 40% of the team. They have appointed him the control person, as conditional as part of the sale. 1.75 billion was the value that he acquired the stake of the Orioles at. Not 1.75 billion for the 40%. That is what the Orioles were valued at in this acquisition. That’s not a lot.
ALEX: That’s— that’s a pretty good deal. I don’t know much about these things, but—
BOBBY: I feel like that’s a little light.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I wonder what Rob thinks about that, since his entire job performance is based on— is judged on his ability to continue this racket of team values going up, so that guys can buy in and sell at any point and make, you know, a chunk of change—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —upwards of a billion dollars. I— I guess— I was kind of surprised by this. A couple of people being like an emergency pod win. [9:23] I don’t think that we could pull off an Orioles emergency sale pod, because we don’t know enough about the sale, or what he’s going to do. But I would not have chosen the Orioles as the team that was most likely to sell, even though there were rumors and there was sort of the whole situation with them trying to get the public funding to make necessary improvements to Camden Yards, as well as threatening to move the team a couple times. There were whispers around sort of that like the— John Angelos didn’t— was not in it for the long haul because of some of these underlying issues and red flags. But he had also sort of fashioned himself a little pulpit up there, to talk about stuff and use the Orioles as his loudspeaker for his views on Baltimore and as a— you know, as a small— small business owner that he is in the little, old city of Baltimore, just— just, you know, holding down the Orioles. And so I— I am a little bit surprised that he’s choosing to step out of the spotlight. Are you surprised by the sale?
ALEX: I don’t know about surprised. I mean, as you mentioned a couple months ago, we had rumblings that this exact thing was going to happen.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Like— like the sale to this exact person was going to happen and it sold—
BOBBY: Is that— is that when we started talking about the Carlyle Group and—
ALEX: That is when we started talking— yeah.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: We— because we have—
BOBBY: These tangents on this pod, I don’t know if it actually —
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: —started anywhere, or if we just invented it out of thin air.
ALEX: Right. If we just went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.
BOBBY: I did read the better part of the NYU Board of Trustees on last week’s—
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —podcast— or two weeks ago. I don’t know why.
ALEX: That’s true.
BOBBY: She has won a Grammy. Chandrika Tandon, Grammy award-winning artist.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Why?
ALEX: And after— and after listening—
BOBBY: Why? Yeah, she kind of rips—
ALEX: I actually—
BOBBY: —she kind of rips it.
ALEX: I get it.
BOBBY: Outro music?
ALEX: Yeah. And, you know, it caused a whole dustup because it, you know, temporarily scuttled the lease negotiations, because, you know, Baltimore officials and— and Maryland officials felt sort of blindsided. They said, “Wait a second, you’re negotiating this lease to stay in the city. And you’re turning around to sell the team.” And John Angelos said, “No, absolutely not. I am— I— I promise you, you have— you know, hand on my heart, I am not selling this baseball team.”
BOBBY: Fingers crossed behind his bag, though.
ALEX: Fingers crossed behind his— they didn’t ask you.
BOBBY: He owns—
ALEX: They didn’t ask. They didn’t say show me your other hand.
BOBBY: Exactly. Wow, a good old-fashioned laptop ding.
ALEX: That’s right.
BOBBY: I haven’t had one of those—
ALEX: [12:03]
BOBBY: —in a pod recording in a while. I’m thinking of not editing this episode at all. What do you think about that?
ALEX: I think that’s great.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: That’s more incentive for us to— to power through.
BOBBY: It has given me a lot of anxiety to have to press publish on our watch-along pods, where I can’t really edit them.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: It freaks me out. I don’t like it.
ALEX: I— I feel like we had a sense that maybe a sale was coming. I feel like we’ve kind of heard rumblings about this for the last year or two, that the kids may be interested in selling. That— that Peter Angelos, at the very least, was like, “Don’t do anything until I’m out of here, because otherwise you’re gonna be charged up the ass in capital gains tax.” Which, again, speaks to the clever structuring of this deal where they don’t get full control— where they— the team is not actually tactically fully sold until John Ang— until Peter Angelos is out of the picture.
BOBBY: I think I put that together.
ALEX: Incredible accounting there. Yeah. Marc Normandin, over on his blog, has a great sort of breakdown about how they— they’ve cleverly avoided hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes.
BOBBY: By the way, I gotta say, you, me, and Marc Normandin are doing a fine little dance in terms of media creation.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: It’s like, we sometimes have a segment and then Marc writes about the same thing, like, the next day, and more often because he writes his newsletter so much more regularly than we publish podcast episodes. Like, the four topics that we talked about it in an episode are the four main topics of his newsletter from the week before, so we’re all just kind of circling each other. We’re all circling the wagons doing the same stuff. But Marc’s newsletter— if you don’t— if you’re not subscribed to it, it’s phenomenal. And— and if you like this podcast, it’s also incredibly digestible, easy to read. He, like, explains tough concepts in the span of an email and I’m like, “Oh, I actually understand this now.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So that’s just a plus one for Marc and his work—
ALEX: [13:57]
BOBBY: —if you’re not already, subscribe to that.
ALEX: I guess the question is like, now what, right? There were— there were— I— I think—
BOBBY: Now, they’re fucking trading for Corbin Burnes.
ALEX: Yeah. Well, yeah. I— it feels like there had been really divided—
BOBBY: It’s funny I asked you if there’s anything else that we need to talk about other than the sale, and you were like,” No, I don’t think so.” And I just remember just now that they traded for a Cy Young winning pitcher.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And that that’s so far in the backburner in terms of the content priorities of this show.
ALEX: I’m like, “Okay. Whatever. There was a trade? Okay.”
BOBBY: Orioles fleeced, by the way.
ALEX: They— like they got fleeced or they—
BOBBY: No, they fleeced.
ALEX: Oh, okay. Yes. Corbin Burnes [14:34]
BOBBY: What are the Brewers doing? It’s almost like they lost their GM.
ALEX: Where— where’d he go?
BOBBY: It sounds like their GM is gonna [14:43] for the fucking diehards.
ALEX: Where’d he go? Where’d he go? I—
BOBBY: I met so many Mets fans last night, so many Mets fans after The Rewatchables live show. Just— we are out here. We are fucking pounding the pavement of New York City, doing the work, you know? Proselytizing for David Stearns. We’re out here.
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: Just so you know.
ALEX: It’s—
BOBBY: We’re back, 2024.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. That’s right. I’m gonna—
BOBBY: This is—
ALEX: I’m gonna power through. You can keep doing your thing. That’s okay.
BOBBY: Okay. A Grammy. She won a Grammy.
ALEX: She won a Grammy.
BOBBY: She won a Grammy. You know who has not won a Grammy? Fucking Beyonce or whatever. I think she had, like, 30 Grammys.
ALEX: Like [15:20] right?
BOBBY: I feel like she’s just been snubbed so many times. I don’t know.
ALEX: Right. Chandrika and Macklemore.
BOBBY: In— in— in the logic of this show, Beyonce has zero Grammys and Chandrika Tandon has, like, 25.
ALEX: Yes. Yeah. Rubenstein, Rubenstein?
BOBBY: No idea.
ALEX: Okay. Rubes. D. Rubes.
BOBBY: Rubes, yeah.
ALEX: Like, did he immediately become the sort of most high profile owner? Like, he— like this is a guy who like—
BOBBY: No.
ALEX: Okay. Maybe— maybe not to the [15:54]
BOBBY: Put some respect on Steve Cohen’s name. Put some respect on his name.
ALEX: I— but, like, how— what— what is— he— sure he’s a hedge fund guy, but like, David is, like, friends with George Bush and, like, the Clintons. And, like, I don’t know if he— he— you know, he, like—
BOBBY: Oh, you mean like in the wider world?
ALEX: I just mean like in the broader— sure. I— I— no one— no baseball fan is going to be like, “Oh, David, he went, oh, from the top rope.”
BOBBY: You say no baseball fan, but, like, there’s really a lot of—
ALEX: Well, I— most of Orioles [16:23] I guess.
BOBBY: —a lot of guys out there that are probably like, “This— excellent— excellent financial move by D. Rubes.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You know, like, “What a wise use of his capital.”
ALEX: I know. But he feels like the person who is like— like, has the most— like wields the most power outside of the baseball world.
BOBBY: Oh, my God. The Carlyle Group handles, like, $10 trillion in assets.
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah, it’s crazy. I don’t— so— have you— did you do any reading about him and sort of his— like, you know, he’s— like, calls himself a patriotic philanthropist, so he like—
BOBBY: No. Tell me everything.
ALEX: —he owns a copy of— he owns a copy of the Magna Carta, like own the or— you know, from, like, the 13th century or whatever.
BOBBY: When you say a copy of the Magna Carta—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —so like the Magna Carta, that’s a document.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: That is, like, owned by a government.
ALEX: Well, and David Rubenstein.
BOBBY: No, no, no. He cannot own the original Magna Carta.
ALEX: No, but—
BOBBY: So— so, like, what— so when they had the Magna Carta, right, there was like a couple other guys in the room who were writing copies and he—
ALEX: Well, I mean, yes, li— literally, they would make these certified copies that would be distributed, you know? And there were, like, iterations of it that kind of happened over the course of the, you know, 1200s or whatever.
BOBBY: He used to be the Chair of the Board of Trustees of Duke University. That feels like a little bit low— low for his priority list.
ALEX: Yeah. Sure. I don’t know. He’s— this guy is doing like every—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: He’s on, like, 12 different boards.
BOBBY: No, I know. Mainly, what I knew him as was like the— so the Carlyle Group, the private equity money, they’re doing some interesting stuff.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: You know? Which we may or may not have talked about, and definitely did not take a stance on the last time the Carlyle Group came up on this podcast.
ALEX: No. No.
BOBBY: Just, you know, some unfortunate coincidences on the day of mass tragedies— days of mass tragedy. I kind of knew him mostly as like the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts guy.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: So, like, you know, this guy loves fucking music and art. Cool. That’s why they spend, like, $4 billion doing shit like this, it’s so that the— like the plebes, like you and me, can be like, “Well, I like music, too.”
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: We’re such suckers.
ALEX: Ah, such suckers.
BOBBY: Such suckers.
ALEX: But, like— so he’s donated hundreds of millions of dollars, spent hundreds of millions of dollars. He— he owns a copy of—
BOBBY: I— I really [18:41]
ALEX: He owns a copy of the Emancipation Proclamation and like—
BOBBY: Dude—
ALEX: And what he does is he buys all these things, and then goes to the National Archives, or the— or whatever, and says, “You can display this. I bought this copy of it. I’m— I want to be a patron of our nation’s rich history, so— so here, you can put it on display, this copy of The Declaration of Independence,” or whatever, right? And it’s just like rich people just, like, collecting the ship, and then saying, “Yeah, you can put it in the David Rubenstein room.”
BOBBY: How much more legit does a copy of the Declaration of Independence need to be than the one that Nick Cage buys in National Treasure and replaces the real Declaration of Independence with?
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: For it to be like notable on David Rubenstein Wikipedia page? Because like there’s a billion copies of the Declaration of Independence. I— I dare to say that in this room that we’re in right now, there might be written words of the Declaration of Independence in one of these books that I’m looking at.
ALEX: Probably, yeah.
BOBBY: This is like the leftist critique of the Declaration of Independence or some bullshit. But like— so it— does it have to just come from the time period? I’m still hung up on the Magna Carta thing. Like, how does he have a copy of the Magna Carta?
ALEX: Right. I mean, I think these are— these are literal— they— right. There was not just one cut— they didn’t just write it down and they were like, “Okay. Don’t lose it.”
BOBBY: And you couldn’t take a picture of it, like send it—
ALEX: Right, exactly.
BOBBY: —to other foreign state. Like—
ALEX: And again, it was like—
BOBBY: What’s your take on the Magna Carta? Like, do you know what’s in it?
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: I don’t super know it that well, but it’s essentially like the— the beginning of liberalism.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Right?
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Like, they were like, “Here are some things that we believe that everybody should have.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: “First document to put into writing the principle that the king and his government was not above the law.”
ALEX: That’s cool. Right? I mean, that’s a good idea.
BOBBY: They figured that out in 1215 and they still had kings for, like, 600 years after that.
ALEX: Yeah. They said he’s not above the law. He— he still gets to be around.
BOBBY: What’s the Magna Carta—
ALEX: He’s just gonna watch his back a little more.
BOBBY: The Magna Carta is like the first CBA—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —that we got.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: Not perfect. You know, we’re still working on it.
ALEX: Laid the groundwork.
BOBBY: Right. Exactly.
ALEX: You know, with [20:56] foundation.
BOBBY: And it feels like 600 years later, we’re still trying to figure some shit out.
ALEX: Still working.
BOBBY: Yeah. Exactly. There goes some audio equipment falling.
ALEX: It’s staying in.
BOBBY: What year was his copy of the Magna Carta made? Was it also written in 1215?
ALEX: It came— it came out like 20 years later. So it’s same—
BOBBY: The 1235 Edition?
ALEX: Well, no— yeah, I’m not even kidding, bro. You can look this up.
BOBBY: I actually have a lot— a lot of questions, so we’re gonna get David on the pod. So he’s— he’s here.
ALEX: Yes, he is [21:25]
BOBBY: He just arrived. He was 20 minutes late. Now, he’s here now. Steve is okay with him walking into the room, it’s fine. The Magna Carta. Thank you for sharing that with me. That put me in— in the right headspace, I think, to talk about his acquisition of the Baltimore Orioles.
ALEX: I am glad. Well, again, because, like, the reason I bring all this stuff up, is because this is like what rich people like to do, right? It’s just, like, collect things. You get to be like, “Hey, honey, like I added the 13th— you know, a signed copy of the 13th Amendment to my collection bay.”
BOBBY: Signed copy?
ALEX: Bro, he has a— yeah. I don’t know. Emancipation Proclamation—
BOBBY: Who is it signed by, Abe?
ALEX: Abe— Abe. I mean, he had to sign it, right? He’d be like, “Yeah—”
BOBBY: Well, the Emancipation Proclamation is different than the 13th Amendment.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: Those are different things.
ALEX: He has both of—
BOBBY: He’s— he’s committed to the game.
ALEX: He’s committed to the game.
BOBBY: He’s like— he’s really like, “Slavery ending was good.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “I’m gonna buy the things that ended slavery to show you how much I appreciate that.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm. What I actually think—
BOBBY: What are you doing if a dude like this walks up to you at the bar, the dude that looks like this, and he’s like,” I like your vibe.”?
ALEX: He—
BOBBY: He’s scary.
ALEX: He—
BOBBY: He’s really scary.
ALEX: He— but if you— so he— he has this like video series with Bloomberg where he like— he’s been doing it for like—
BOBBY: Him and A-Rod.
ALEX: Yeah, honestly. Whatever happened to the— we got to dive back into that. But he’s got this video series where he just, like, interviews, like, you know, movers and shakers, like basically, the elite of the elite. And it’s like—
BOBBY: I love when you say that phrase. You just called us movers and shakers the other day because [22:56]
ALEX: And then we are at now— yeah.
BOBBY: —like a drinks event or something, like at a podcast festival. And you’re like, “Oh, I guess we’re movers and shakers now.” We are, what— what, like three steps from Rubenstein level? We’re up there.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: How many degrees— here’s a question, how many degrees removed from David Rubenstein are we? How many people would we have to say, “I know this person who knows this person, who knows this person, who knows David Rubenstein.”? And what path would you take?
ALEX: I— I literally don’t even know where to begin.
BOBBY: It seems like we gotta go through Bill Simmons, honestly.
ALEX: Probably. Yeah. Or, actually, if we’re being honest, probably some kid we met at NYU.
BOBBY: Hmm. Like a hedge fund person?
ALEX: Right? Like the kid— like the kid— the kid who— who ditched your— your interview, who was gonna be featured?
BOBBY: Oh.
ALEX: It seemed like this boy genius or whatever.
BOBBY: I don’t remember his name.
ALEX: I don’t, either. He’s— they’ve probably met.
BOBBY: No, because he feels like the, you know, the new wave. You know, he was like trading via algorithm and David Rubenstein wouldn’t like that, because then you couldn’t—
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: —override that algorithm and favors his [24:01]
ALEX: He’s like, “You’ve taken the heart out of Venture Capital, you know?”
BOBBY: Yeah, we gotta bring— you know, we got to bring some respectability back to Venture Capital. You know, honor, legacy.
ALEX: I— I just want to say his Bloomberg show where he interviews presidents, and Supreme Court justices, and like other sports owners, and like the— you know, the people.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Basically, the ruling class, super dry. I was like, “This is gonna have some juicy shit in here. Oh, my God. You mean I have hours and hours of inter”— he’s like meek. He’s like fawning.
BOBBY: Oh, wow.
ALEX: He’s like—
BOBBY: Dude, you’re doing like the Jordan Peterson read of his interviewing style. He doesn’t interview like an alpha male.
ALEX: He’s like— he’s like shy.
BOBBY: Vibe.
ALEX: Which is fine.
BOBBY: That’s a vibe.
ALEX: That’s okay.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: His now ex-wife used to hang with Glenn Maxwell, so I’m just gonna throw— toss that one in there.
BOBBY: I’m just not going to touch that.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: Notably, we should actually talk about why he purchased the Orioles, which is that he’s from Baltimore, fashions himself to— to still try to be connected to the community—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —like a lot of rich people do. You know, that humanizes them when they’re like, “Hello, fellow human. I also, too, am from place. I like thing that happens in place as well.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: “And I will in a very relatable way purchase the sports team of that said place.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “And try to bring one home for the boys, the girls and gals, guys and gals.”
ALEX: The three genders, boys, girls, and gals.
[laughter]
BOBBY: I just turned into AI for a sec there. I feel like I pulled that off.
ALEX: You— you did. That’s it.
BOBBY: I feel like I landed the plane.
ALEX: You did.
BOBBY: And he claims to be a lifelong Orioles fan.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: As everybody always does. Do you think he is? Because, like, Steve Cohen’s fucking real That dude is real.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: If he was sitting in this room right now, he would have thoughts about the Rubén Tejada broken leg.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: He would have thoughts about Benny Agbayani’s rookie year. Like, he would be ready.
ALEX: He’d be like, “If I see Chase Utley in the streets, it’s on site.”
BOBBY: Exactly. Do you— do you buy his shtick, though? And in a larger sense, for the purposes of this year baseball podcast, where we talk about the game. And we don’t spend a lot of time talking about Duke University, and maybe some unsavory connections that owners might have to other people, who wields power in this world. Do you think you will actually spend money to make the Orioles better? And a follow-up question to that, do you think that Mike Elias will want to do that? Like, if David Rubenstein was like, “It’s time to fucking put it into overdrive. Let’s bring one home.| Would Mike Elias be like, “Okay. $200 million to payroll.”? Or do you think that they are kind of like di— like his philosophy of running a team is like diametrically opposed to an injection of cash overnight?
ALEX: I don’t— I don’t know that it would be diametrically oppo— I— I don’t know that there’s any GM who would be like— like outside of Billy Beane maybe. Who would be like, “No, you’re giving me a little too much money to play with right now.”
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: I mean, it’s hard to say what his tenure as an owner is gonna look like, right? Because, again, he is a private equity guy who made his money in snapping up companies and either selling them for parts or flipping them— or like a term—
BOBBY: For profit—
ALEX: —making them valuable again—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —and flipping them for— either way—
BOBBY: Notably, Baumann wrote an article for FanGraphs, basically detailing that exact philosophy and how private equity in sports has, like, been sort of a— somewhat of a hit or miss proposition.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And I thought that article was really good. We should link to that.
ALEX: We should. And there’s a really good article in ProPublica too, from a few years ago about how he was, like, instrumental in basically keeping intact the, like, elements of the tax code that enables this sort of, like, vulture capitalism, that, like, carried interest loophole. I’m not even going to try and explain what all this shit means. But, like, you read it, and I’m like—
BOBBY: I like you playing dumb like you don’t— you have to use the carried interest loophole all the time for all of your various assets.
ALEX: Don’t— I didn’t want you to say that here.
BOBBY: We put up a big facade like you don’t have David Rubenstein on fucking speed dial.
ALEX: I know, I know.
BOBBY: Come on. I appreciate our effort to just say his name both ways throughout this conversation, so that it’s not—
ALEX: Yeah, it’s been zero [28:27]
BOBBY: We can’t be 100% wrong.
ALEX: We didn’t even decide ahead of time. Didn’t even do any research.
BOBBY: You know, I would say Rubenstein— is the NYU dorm named after him?
ALEX: What, Weinstein?
BOBBY: Oh, no. it’s just Rubin, not Rubenstein.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: The dorm.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I was combining those in my head.
ALEX: We’re like— to— like back to— we have thought that maybe NYU— like all of the NYU dorms have been named after some part— we’re like, “Carlyle, is that the—”
BOBBY: But— but they are. But they are, you know? Like, they sneaky are. Then why would they choose these names and spell them this way? Carlyle, like, as a city name, or, like, historically speaking, derived from a French word, it would be I-S-L-E at the end, not Y-L-E.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Like the Carlyle Group.
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: I’m sorry, I sound like—
ALEX: You’re Charlie [29:18] Sonny.
BOBBY: I sound— well, I was gonna say— I was gonna go for I sound like Charlie Kirk trying to figure out how the DNC rigged the NFL so that Taylor Swift could be there to talk about Pfizer.”
ALEX: Yeah, Yeah.
BOBBY: Like, that’s what I sound like right now.
ALEX: Why would they spell it that way?
BOBBY: Why would they? I’m gonna send an email to John Beckman and asks.
ALEX: You should. Wow. John Beckman reference on Tipping Pitches.
BOBBY: There’s three people listening right now who are gonna fucking crack up at that name.
ALEX: Who are like, “Oh.”
BOBBY: And they’re like, “John Beckman.” I don’t remember what— oh, we’re talking about the Orioles.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Is he gonna actually—
ALEX: What is he actually going to do? I—
BOBBY: The reason I asked about Elias specifically, is because I think he’s generally thought of. So, you know, we talked to Evan when he wrote his book, Evan Drellich, about the Astros sign stealing scandal. There was like somewhat of an— a— a philosophical diversity among the people who were running the Astros at that time. Now, they were centered around Jeff Luhnow’s sort of, like, Venture Capital consulting inspired vision on we should disrupt. You know, that was like the big word of what the Astros were doing to the model. “We should disrupt. We should bring in more technology. We should ignore traditional scouting met— measures and metrics.” Somewhat of like a spiritual successor to what Billy Beane was doing during the Money— early Moneyball era. However, I think that like a lot of those executives, that Mike Elias was thought of, at least the way that he’s been portrayed and— he’s a very— I mean, he doesn’t do a lot of interviews. Like, he doesn’t really talk at length about his philosophy very often. They’re very secretive, all of those, like, former Astros people. But he is thought of as, like, the— the extremist, you know, in that group. Like, the one who was like, “We don’t need to spend money. We can just do it this way.” And so I just— it always, to me, just feels a little bit like a, do we give him too much credit? Do we give GMs like Mike Elias too much credit when they try to telegraph that, like, they were playing with a hand tied behind their back? Or do they actually secretly like it? Do they actually secretly want to play with a hand tied behind their back, and given their other hand, wouldn’t know how to use it? Is my question, because I actually think there are more GMs like that than we— than we think. Like, I think if you choose to run the Rays, you don’t actually want to spend that much money.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And when— you know, when former Rays people go to a place like the Red Sox, they flounder a little bit. They don’t know what to do with all that. They don’t know what to do with the expectation. They don’t know what to do with the timeline. They don’t know what to do in free agency sometimes. And, like, obviously, it’s a better thing if David Rubenstein comes in and he’s like, “Here’s more money. Get more good players. Let’s try to make the Orioles good.” It’s better than what the Angelos family was doing, and I’m happy for Orioles fans, if that is the eventuality. I just don’t know.
ALEX: Yeah. Like a coin flip.
BOBBY: It’s— it’s kind of a coin flip. Yeah. I wonder what Orioles fans think about this. We should ask Jake.
ALEX: I mean, I think the— the prevailing feeling has been one of, you know, our long national nightmare is over, right?
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: Like the Angelos are gone. That is—
BOBBY: He was also just kind of a dipshit.
ALEX: Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
BOBBY: I’m just so sick of the— the constant news, stories, and headlines, and—
ALEX: I— I feel like if you are a GM who now has a new owner, who wants to spend more money than you’re comfortable with. You will not have that job for very long. Like if Rubenstein really wants to spend money, I don’t know why he would— he would be okay with having a GM who’s, like, pushing back against that. I see your— I see your brow furrowing over there as you’re— as you’re doing some research.
BOBBY: Rubenstein got his start as a Carter administration official.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: That’s not how you get a start. Nobody starts in a presidential administration.
ALEX: I know. Well, he was like a— he was like a lawyer at first. He was like a merger—
BOBBY: He passed the bar— oh, he was an M&A lawyer?
ALEX: Actually, I don’t know. I may have just made that up. That— that’s not true.
BOBBY: His father was employed by the United States Postal Service.
ALEX: A full circle, baby. See, this is a man who respects institution.
BOBBY: Do you think he likes unions?
ALEX: Well—
BOBBY: Has anyone who has—
ALEX: I think he likes the union, our union.
BOBBY: Has anyone who has ever been titled administration official been pro union?
ALEX: Well—
BOBBY: I— I have to say something now. Maybe this is a good opportunity to pivot to the Forbes list, the nominal exercise of this episode. I’m reading his Forbes page. The fact that— this is breaking my brain a little bit.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: They have like statistical categories, like if you go to the billionaire page for the billionaires on Forbes.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And it’s broken down like the back of a baseball card— card. It literally says Personal Stats, Age, Source of wealth—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —Self-made score.
ALEX: Self-made score. I love that. That one and the philanthropy score, bro.
BOBBY: Is that out of 10?
ALEX: Yes. Self-made is out of 10. Philanthropy, out of five. Just so you know.
BOBBY: How am I supposed to know that? Why would they not—
ALEX: Well, this is because you’re not a real Forbes head like me, bro.
BOBBY: He’s self-made nine out of 10. Nine out of 10.
ALEX: That’s right.
BOBBY: Because his dad was a USPS worker.
ALEX: He’s— yeah, exa— he— he pulled those bootstraps up, bro. When I say— you click on— there’s like a— there’s like The hyperlink on the self-made score, so you can click to read about how they made it, how— how they designed it. The title of that article that hyperlinks out to is The Forbes 400 Self-Made Score: From Silver Spooners To Bootstrappers.
ALEX: That’s right.
BOBBY: Sorry, I just needed a second. I— I’m— I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to do this. So—
ALEX: You— you know what— you know I will say also—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —Michael Bloomberg is also now an owner of the Baltimore Orioles. He’s a part of this ownership group. So I [35:35] as my—
BOBBY: Put some of that energy somewhere, all that—
ALEX: —my top candidate for the A’s new owner has been stricken from the list.
BOBBY: You were gonna go with Bloomberg?
ALEX: [35:44] I was gonna go with Bloomberg, so—
BOBBY: He’s such a New York guy, though.
ALEX: I know, it’s—
BOBBY: He would try to move the A’s to fucking Long Island. I— I feel like I got to see it for— for like a longer offseason.
ALEX: Yeah. Oh, I don’t— we can—
BOBBY: The Corbin Burnes trade timing was very weird.
ALEX: It was very funny.
BOBBY: Very weird. Like, I— I have to assume that, like, he was not in a position yet to approve a trade like that. So I guess it was probably still Angelos approving that trade?
ALEX: Yeah, the vibes immediately got way better.
BOBBY: It’s funny that, like, they could not pull off any trade, get any starting pitcher for the last two years when it was clearly a need for the team. And then I guess Angelos approves it at the exact moment where he doesn’t even get credit for it anymore. The dude is just fumbling at every opportunity.
ALEX: Last point on Dave, on D. Rubes, I think—
BOBBY: What other documents does he have?
ALEX: So he’s got the Magna Carta, he’s got the Emancipation Proclamation, the 13th Amendment.
BOBBY: These are all copies, right? He doesn’t own the original of any of these documents?
ALEX: I mean, no. I— I— it depends on what you mean by original. Again, with the ones that came out like a couple years after, right? Like this— the second versions.
BOBBY: The reprint.
ALEX: Exactly. Or like the— the iterative versions where they were like, “We need to make some additions to this.”
BOBBY: Magna Carta 2.0. It’s like an album title.
ALEX: Right. These— the hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of patriotic philanthropy that he does could not keep the New York Post from calling him woke, because apparently, if you go to, like, James Madison or Thomas Jefferson’s residences, which he— he spent money to, like—
BOBBY: Upkeep?
ALEX: —upkeep and— and like—
BOBBY: Or restore?
ALEX: Right, exactly.
BOBBY: Yeah. Yeah.
ALEX: They— they do mention that, like, they own slaves, and so there’s a New York Post article where it’s just like, they’re talking to people who like went on the tour and was like, “You would have thought that he started the— the Ku Klux Klan in there. Goddamn— goddamn David Rubenstein and his— his—
BOBBY: Arguably—
ALEX: “—liberal influence.” Anyway, no one’s safe.
BOBBY: The woke man virus does not discriminate, you know? If it gets you, it gets you.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: And you gotta be willing to call that out. Okay. It doesn’t matter how many copies of the Magna Carta you have. How do we get a copy of that? Should we hang a copy of the Magna Carta in the studio?
ALEX: That would be cool.
BOBBY: What? Do— do you think people would get that it was ironic?
ALEX: I don’t even know if I would get that it’s ironic.
BOBBY: Should we hang a copy of the original CBA?
ALEX: That would be kind of sick. Hey, I’m gonna— I’m gonna go to eBay right now. You think that’s something that’s ju— like just like floating around?
BOBBY: No.
ALEX: It’s like in Rob’s office. It’s in Tony’s office.
BOBBY: No, I think— yeah, I think it’s in Tony’s office. I think it’s in Rob’s trashcan.
ALEX: Well, either that or it’s like, on his you know, it’s like, this is the thing that started at all. You know, this is— this is what we’re— we’re fighting against.
BOBBY: In— in many ways, it’s the reason Rob even has a job, because he would have never become commissioner if it hadn’t been so important to have a fucking labor lawyer as the commissioner.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So he shouldn’t be thankful. He should preach at the altar of Marvin Miller, you know?
ALEX: You think?
BOBBY: He should. What would he do if not? He wouldn’t be the fucking commissioner. He’d be an owner.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Yeah, he should be thanking us. I gotta— we gotta get him on this pod. We gotta do it.
ALEX: Dave?
BOBBY: No, Rob.
ALEX: Oh.
BOBBY: Dave, too, you can come on if you want. We can have them both at the same time.
ALEX: I think— I think we now have found the owner who is most likely to actually come on this podcast—
BOBBY: No way.
ALEX: —as like [39:44] bro.
BOBBY: Oh, because he’s just like has—
ALEX: This guy just, like, does appearances. He just like—
BOBBY: Do you think he charges a fee?
ALEX: Probably.
BOBBY: Do you think we can match it?
ALEX: Probably.
BOBBY: Yeah. You can’t— there’s like a certain fee level that, like, it’s just uncouth to go over. Like—
ALEX: You know, charge fee $50,000.
BOBBY: We’re not asking him to speak at a fucking conference.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: We’re asking him to do a little 20-minute hit on the Tipping Pitches Podcast. So— okay. It’s time. Forbes real-time billionaire list. We are going to find an owner to purchase the Oakland Athletics from John Fisher. Now, the stated goal of this is not to say, okay, who is most likely to buy the A’s? This is like— given the constrictions that we have of reality, being that they’re not going to eminent domain the A’s to keep them in Oakland. They are not— John Fisher’s likely not going to have a change of heart and decide to both spend more money and invest in the team and keep the A’s in Oakland, clearly. He’s still doing his sad boy USA tour, talking about how hard it was for him to choose to move the A’s to Vegas. Given all of those constraints, we want to find someone who would be like the— the least terrible option. We’ve used that phrase in the past when talking about owners. The person who could purchase the A’s keep them in Oakland, and actually run them even like a medium-level franchise. We would take anything at this point. So it doesn’t really— this is not an emotional exercise for you because you’re not an A’s fan anymore, right?
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: You’re a Phillies fan. A very real Phillies fan. So we decided to go— where else? But the Forbes real-time billionaire list. You got to be a billionaire buy the A’s.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: They’re coming in at least like 2.5. You know, they’re in California
for a little while.
ALEX: No, they’re lower than that. They’re like 1.7.
BOBBY: That’s their value. You could squeeze a couple extra dollars out of that, especially after they moved to Vegas.
ALEX: I mean— yeah. Yeah, they’re— wow. Whoa, bro. They’re— once again, relying on Forbes, 1.18, less than the Orioles.
BOBBY: I just don’t buy it. You know, you got a lot of that VC money over there. I don’t buy it.
ALEX: I don’t know. They—
BOBBY: It doesn’t matter. It has to be a billionaire. We’re going to the real-time billionaires list because it’s funny. Okay?
ALEX: They’re—
BOBBY: That’s why we’re doing this. Now, I suggested that we just read the top 100, because why even fucking bother dealing with the broke boys and girls in the bottom 300?
ALEX: Oh, you have $4 billion? Okay.
BOBBY: Yeah. Wow. Cool. That might be enough money to get you a copy of the Magna Carta. Are you really going to come off the top rope to sign fucking Jacob deGrom? No. But however, you, as you want to do, spend a little time scrolling through this list the other night. And you said that there were some deep cuts that you liked in the sort of more three hundreds range.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: So I think we should start with them, and then we’re gonna go name by name in the top 100. Also notable, we have decided to DQ certain types of people. People who have made their money in certain ways. So no oil people, right? Nobody over the age of 80?
ALEX: Like, 80. Like, I don’t want someone by the team who’s going to croak and then give it to their kid.
BOBBY: Right. Exactly.
ALEX: Not that that’s drawing from any real-life experience.
BOBBY: Or someone who’s going to just— you— people who are over 80, who are billionaires, like they’re not going to change their view on this shit. Like, they need to— they’re not going to be like, “Yeah, analytics. Cool.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So we want some fresh blood. And this is their real age, by the way. This is not their biological age. So if there are any billionaires out there who have— apparently, they are 18 years old, according to their biological age, that doesn’t count.
ALEX: Smart. They’re disqualified.
BOBBY: Okay. Honorable mentions from outside the top 100, go. We got to kind of move— we got to try to move fast—
ALEX: We’re gonna— we’re gonna— we’re gonna move fast here.
BOBBY: —because we’re gonna through a hundred names. Wait, wait. Are there any other DQs?
Over the age of 80, petrol.
ALEX: Right. Like, oil— I mean, less than, you know, I mean, we’re not like you said we’re not looking at anyone who’s broke, who’s like worth less than a billion dollars. I also shied away from people who already own sports franchises.
BOBBY: Yeah, I think that’s a mistake, but we can talk about it [44:24] top 30.
ALEX: I mean, we can— a weekend we can talk through some of these but like— I mean, there were people who I gravitated towards who I’d be like— in fact, there were people who I was like, “Oh, they’d be a good candidate.” And I was like, “Oh, they own the Memphis Grizzlies. Never mind, I guess.” Like, Robert Pera has come through.
BOBBY: But you don’t want to DQ, like, banking people? Are you okay with a banking person? It feels like you’re kind of hemming yourself man if you DQ—
ALEX: Like—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: I mean— right. I mean—
BOBBY: You can’t get your own [44:48] Steve Cohen from the store?
ALEX: Well, also, like, what is— what is— I— so this is— so this is— the thing is like— right. There are no good billionaires, as we kind of generally agree upon.
BOBBY: Except For David Rubenstein.
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: You know, he’s keeping America afloat.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: You know, keeping our liberal values alive.
ALEX: Right?
BOBBY: By preserving documents, you know, donating documents.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Managing capital.
ALEX: I’m trying to, like, find one who will not to step on you to get there.
BOBBY: Backbone [45:18]
ALEX: It’s like a fucking— is a fool’s errand, right? But, but—
BOBBY: That’s why it’s funny.
ALEX: I know. But if you find someone with, like, just enough vanity and, like, neurotic fandom, you actually might turn out okay, right?
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: And so the answer weirdly—
BOBBY: Middleton, you know? Like it’s a perfect example.
ALEX: I mean, yeah, but also like the answer is someone like Steve Cohen, which is like the most boring answer possible, but—
BOBBY: Number 96, by the way.
ALEX: But it’s also why you can’t rule out like the hedge fund guys and like— I don’t know. I’m not gonna pick one of those— them, but like— you know, there’s [45:54]
BOBBY: But— so— so like oil, too much blood on your hands—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —in terms of, like, destruction of the entire planet.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: But hedge fund, banking, that sort of thing, you know, they might be just good guys caught up in a bad industry is what you’re trying to tell me.
ALEX: Who among those have not done a leveraged buyout—
BOBBY: Exactly.
ALEX: —yeah.
BOBBY: Yeah. Bear hug, you know? We all learned about that from Succession, that very relatable thing that you might have to do or be done to you.
ALEX: Exactly. That’s how I greet you every day.
BOBBY: This could be some of our best or worst work, I’m not really sure yet.
ALEX: It really remains to be seen.
BOBBY: Or—
ALEX: Kind of like— kind of like Dave’s ten-year owner— ownership tenure with the Orioles. How about John Arnold? Who— who was a disgraced Enron as executive, who was once the youngest billionaire in the world. Enron—
BOBBY: John D. Arnold, now listed as an American philanthropist.
ALEX: That is— that is— that is John D. Arnold, yeah.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: I always—
BOBBY: His firm, Centaurus Advisors ,LLC.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Nobody gave a note on that name? No one was like, “Maybe let’s try a different one, then.”?
ALEX: He got a cool $8 million bonus check right before Enron filed for bankruptcy, which I think is just bad timing.
BOBBY: I—
ALEX: I think it’s just kind of sick, right? I mean, it’s bad timing and that it makes him look really bad, even if it’s not deserving.
BOBBY: He didn’t know.
ALEX: He was working really hard.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: He was adding shareholder value. I don’t know what to tell you.
BOBBY: He earned the company 750 million in the year before it went bankrupt. He’s—
ALEX: I think he’s entitled to a few dollars being tossed his way.
BOBBY: He delivers. He’s— in recent years, he’s invested in solar farms and deep-water oil developments in the Gulf of Mexico.
ALEX: Hilarious. Just playing both sides, you know?
BOBBY: I think that DQs him. All right. Who’s next?
ALEX: How about a little guy named John Paulson? You want to talk board of trustee members?
BOBBY: No way did you just throw John Paulson at me? Are you serious?
ALEX: $3.5 billion, number 326 on the Forbes 400. Famously made his money profiting off the financial crisis of 2007, betting against subprime mortgages. Also, famously given hundreds of million— or like $100 million New York University and— and he’s one of the people who— at least at one point in time— Is he still on the board?
BOBBY: Yeah, he is.
ALEX: He is? Okay. Cool.
BOBBY: Also, he— he was on Trump’s economic advisory council, too.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: He— here’s the most recent headline from fortune.com, “Hedge fund founder John Paulson is accused of hiding billions of dollars in a divorce. That includes fighting over a luxury penthouse in Puerto Rico.”
ALEX: I hope he gets it.
BOBBY: Running baseball is lightwork. You know, he’s trying to hide billions in divorce money?
ALEX: Yeah. Here’s the thing, Bobby, self-made score of nine. I’m just saying like—
BOBBY: You love the self-made score.
ALEX: It’s good. And a philanthropy score of four.
BOBBY: Out of five.
ALEX: Which is out of five. Again, it’s—
BOBBY: You know, why would they do one out of 10 and one out of five?
ALEX: It’s so— I don’t know.
BOBBY: Just fucking double it.
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: That’s so [49:09] you want to talk about an article that John Beckman was not happy about.
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: My article investigating John Paulson’s relationship to the Trump Economic Advisory Council. You know, I got— I got an email that was like, “Not sure what you’re implying here.” I’m like, “I’m not— not implying anything.”
ALEX: Right. You’re like, “I actually thought I made it very clear. I appreciate the critique.”
BOBBY: I’m implying that this guy is on Trump’s Economic Advisory Council, which you can search on the government website.
ALEX: I think John Paulson said— do you have anything else to say on John Paulson?
BOBBY: He— also, if you look him up on Google, there’s like a Security and Exchange Commission case against him, too. You know, these things happen.
ALEX: I mean, that’s— if we’re being honest, that’s a characteristic of a Good baseball owner.
BOBBY: What are you doing if this guy walks up to you and he’s like, “I got a job for you.”?
ALEX: Running.
BOBBY: Okay. Who’s—
ALEX: I’m doing the Alex Jones run through the street.
BOBBY: He was kind of moving.
ALEX: Yeah, he was. It’s not his fault. He’s got a big dump truck.
BOBBY: I have a question. Are they all named John? Is every guy that you chose named John? Because John is the name of your current owner.
ALEX: The next— the next guy is J.
BOBBY: Like J.?
ALEX: Well, actually—
BOBBY: Or J.A.?
ALEX: It’s— it’s—
BOBBY: Or J.—
ALEX: It is—
BOBBY: [50:35]
ALEX: —the— the current governor of Illinois, J.B. Pritzker.
BOBBY: No way. Is his— is that short for John?
ALEX: It— no, it’s short for Jay, J-A-Y. Jay— Jay Robert Pritzker.
BOBBY: Like J. Robert Oppenheimer?
ALEX: J-A [50:49] uh-huh.
BOBBY: Where would Oppenheimer fall on this list if he was alive? He doesn’t have the cash?
ALEX: No, he doesn’t need— once again, philanthropy score of five.
BOBBY: War crimes didn’t pay as well back in the day as they do now.
ALEX: No. And I think he was kind of guilt ridden after that, if I understood his life correctly.
BOBBY: Based on the major motion picture Oppenheimer?
ALEX: Seen it, heard of it.
BOBBY: Good movie. Best Picture?
ALEX: No. J.B. Pritzker—
BOBBY: Did you watch Anatomy of a Fall yet?
ALEX: No, not yet. I’m waiting on my— my partner for that one.
BOBBY: Are you ever gonna take any of my suggestions seriously or are you just going to dick around?
ALEX: I want— I need to— look, it’s not my fault. Take it up with her.
BOBBY: For those listening, watched Anatomy of a Fall. The kid in Anatomy of a Fall looks exactly like—
ALEX: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
BOBBY: exactly like—
ALEX: Spoiler.
BOBBY: —kid Alex. Okay? I could— could not get over it.
ALEX: You say it, like, every fourth movie you watch. You’re like, “Yo!”
BOBBY: “It’s Alex!”
ALEX: “It’s you!”
BOBBY: Okay. J.B. Pritzker.
ALEX: He’s kind of based. [51:49] I don’t know, as far as billionaires go.
BOBBY: Isn’t he like the— isn’t he like the lefts’ favorite guy right now?
ALEX: Yeah. He’s like—
BOBBY: Like, J.B. Pritzker for president [51:57]
ALEX: Right. Exactly. Yeah, he’s, like, you know, capital D Democrat [52:01] Obama.
BOBBY: Needs to remind people, no good billionaires.
ALEX: No good billionaires.
BOBBY: There’s no moral way to make $1 billion.
ALEX: Except for J.B. Pritzker.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Whose— whose an heir to the Hyatt Hotel fortune.
BOBBY: Me, too.
ALEX: Not a great self-made score as a result.
BOBBY: I do this for fun. I grind away each week— [52:18]
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —for fun. I got that high up [52:20] money coming soon. So who would— you need to make note of who’s in the running still. So, like, do you want me to write all of these people down that you just said? And then we come back to them at the end and we decide? Or, like, are any of those people seriously being considered? Like, you really want John Paulson to buy the A’s?
ALEX: No, I— I don’t. I’m— these are the people who stood out to me as folks who I— I ardently do not want to buy the team.
BOBBY: Oh.
ALEX: Well, actually, some— maybe some.
BOBBY: That’s what I’m saying. Pritzker?
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah, it’s [52:51] him and his—
BOBBY: Long list, Pritzker.
ALEX: Look—
BOBBY: Just say long list after— when we’re done with the guy, just say long list—
ALEX: Long list Pritzker.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Obviously, a little hard because he’s the governor of— of a state right now. Although, I guess that does not necessarily preclude involvement. His brother might be a better candidate, Anthony, who also lives in California. Let’s just say the— the— the Pritzker family.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Long list.
ALEX: This is why I’m really compromising a lot of things right now.
BOBBY: You— so— so what you’re saying is you support his politics and all democratic national committee politics?
ALEX: I said vote blue no matter who.
BOBBY: Exactly.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Do you think when Biden croaks two months before the election, they will put him in— in place on the ticket?
ALEX: When [53:34]
BOBBY: Or do you think that they’re just gonna rock with HRC? Because I’m— I’m feeling like—
ALEX: You— you mean David Rubenstein’s friend, HRC?
BOBBY: He played both sides of the aisle, huh? He was friends with W.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: He was friends with HRC.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: As if those people are different.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: We got to move on. I— this is— this is raging on. Fucking political territory. This is verging on real, like, early days of Chapo Trap House energy.
ALEX: That’s right.
BOBBY: Talking about Hillary Clinton.
ALEX: You know who I was kind of drawn to? It’s—
BOBBY: A podcast I’ve never once listened to, by the way.
ALEX: That’s good.
BOBBY: I had to have you explain it to me once.
ALEX: You did.
BOBBY: I’m like, “What—”
ALEX: You do— because you do many internet concepts.
BOBBY: Some things I’m afraid to explore.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Because, like, there’s such a fervor around them that I feel like I’m so far behind, that I just need the download from you. Because I know that you have it, you know? And I know you are so, so literate in so many things that I don’t even want to try to approach.
ALEX: I’m— I’m like the meme of, like, the military guy who’s standing with his arms outstretched while you sleep, you know? I’m taking all the hits for you.
BOBBY: I don’t have to know what fucking calm down is, because I have Alex. Like, it’s amazing. It’s great. You’re like SparkNotes for the internet for me.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: Who’s next?
ALEX: I was kind of drawn to— to Dagmar Dolby.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: She’s the heir to the— the Dolby fortune.
BOBBY: Dolby— like Dolby—
ALEX: Like— the, like—
BOBBY: —audio?
ALEX: —Dolby audio.
BOBBY: She’s in.
ALEX: She’s in. Right?
BOBBY: I have done, when I tell you, like so much free PR for Dolby over my years of producing The Big Picture. I’m always just like, “Go see it in Dolby.”
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: “Dolby is the best.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: “That Dolby room, it rocks.” So wait, where’s she? What number is she?
ALEX: So— okay. So she’s 2.11 on the Forbes— on Forbes 400 with 5— with $5.2 billion. I will say, she’s 82 years old, which is—
BOBBY: [55:38] we can make exceptions.
ALEX: [55:40] we can make exceptions, right? The reason I— look, she is— she lives in San Francisco. She’s a Bay Area gal.
BOBBY: Oh, she is promising.
ALEX: She’s like— right? Right? This is what I’m saying.
BOBBY: She got her money— she was married to the guy who founded Dolby and then they—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —divorced in 2013. And now, like—
ALEX: She’s just like, again, a philanthropist, which like— the thing about, like, billionaire philanthropist is like—
BOBBY: It’s like, “We give 160 million to fucking Cambridge.” It’s like, “Did you guys really need that?”
ALEX: Right. And also like, “Oh, was that out of the goodness of your hearts or you [56:10]”
BOBBY: [56:10]
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: In September 2018, Dolby donated 20 million to UC San Francisco to establish the Dolby Family Center for Mood Disorders. Dude, she understands— she gets us.
[laughter]
ALEX: [56:21]
BOBBY: Dude, I’m putting her at the top [56:27]
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: —she’s at the top.
ALEX: She is.
BOBBY: I’m so glad you did the work.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Okay, who’s next? How— how many more from the three hundreds before we go through the top 100?
ALEX: We’ll just do a couple quick ones.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: What about George Lucas or Steven Spielberg?
BOBBY: Are they on the billionaire list?
ALEX: They’re on the billionaire list, bro. [56:50]
BOBBY: Steven Spielberg is a billionaire?
ALEX: Yeah, bro.
BOBBY: What?
ALEX: He’s— he’s worth $4.8 billion.
BOBBY: No, he is not. He has more than David Rubenstein?
ALEX: And so does Lucas, who’s worth four— but I love when they— there are like two different net worths on here. I guess his real-time net worth is $5.2 billion.
BOBBY: Steven Spielberg?
ALEX: George Lucas. Yeah. Uh-huh.
BOBBY: I—
ALEX: Let that sink in.
BOBBY: I have a headache.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I just got a headache just now.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Fuck.
ALEX: Can’t watch Indiana Jones anymore.
BOBBY: I am on the record as being pro Spielberg.
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: In a lot of places.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I gotta go back and wipe all of that? I loved The Fablemans.
ALEX: Yeah. Well—
BOBBY: Loved it.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I do not like ET, though, so maybe I’m on my way.
ALEX: Well, that’s— why are we doing this pod?
BOBBY: Just grow up and watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Just grow up.
ALEX: That’s exactly a good take. I like that. Just grow up and watch Stalkers is what you should do if you—
BOBBY: I don’t— I don’t recommend watching Stalker if you’re not ready to just be deeply confused and unmoored—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —for a few hours. Strange movie.
ALEX: I certainly don’t recommend doing it just like after a workday. Lucas or Spielberg, you know, I guess you can toss them in there as candidates [58:19]
BOBBY: George Lucas— I knew Lucas was a billionaire because—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —like he sold the rights to Start Wars for billions of dollars.
ALEX: Right. And—
BOBBY: And Lucasfilm.
ALEX: Yes, exactly.
BOBBY: To Disney, famously. Does— does Abigail Disney appear on your list anywhere?
ALEX: She’s not. Should— should she be?
BOBBY: [58:33] Disney gal. You know, she’s always like, “I don’t want this money and Disney is evil.” You know? She’s someone—
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —that’s doing that stuff all the time.
ALEX: Yeah. See, but— like so here’s the thing, again, as we go through this list, it’s like you want— like, they can’t be too—
BOBBY: Bashful.
ALEX: —phil— philanthropic or whatever, just because—
BOBBY: Keep going, yeah.
ALEX: Well, be—
BOBBY: Because they need to save the money for fucking Max Scherzer.
ALEX: No, not— I mean, sure, yes, but I’m— I more mean just like you need someone who, like, isn’t just trying to get rid of their money as— as fast as possible because you need them to be like a little bit enga— it can’t just be like, “Oh, sure. I’ll just give you all the money, like whatever.” Like, you want someone who, like, kinda wants to win and it’s interested in, like, actually putting together a good baseball team.
bobby: Yeah, I agree.
ALEX: I guess— but— but also someone who will, like, stay out of the way and—
BOBBY: I— I have a question, why hasn’t someone with, like, genuinely unlimited money outside of— there’s one notable exception, so please note that I— I’m aware of the existence of Steve Ballmer. But why hasn’t anybody who’s like in the top 10 bought a sports team just for the fucking hell of it? Like, they have, like, legitimately unlimited money. If they liquidated $10 billion of their money in whatever stock it lives in right now, like Elon Musk did for fucking Twitter, they could buy a team and give— they could buy a baseball team where there’s no salary cap and give literally unlimited payroll. Why hasn’t anyone done that as a thought experiment?
ALEX: I know. I mean, those people are buying, like, leagues. They’re buying, like, the sport of F1.
BOBBY: But, like— I don’t know. You could—
ALEX: No, I know.
BOBBY: We’re— we’re gonna get there. All right.
ALEX: It’s like— it’s like it would be such a sliver of your wealth, like why would you not do it?
BOBBY: Yeah. It’s like me buying another microphone. Like, I don’t need it, but I’m like, “Meh, it’s not gonna bankrupt me. I’m just gonna do it to have it.”
ALEX: I know. It is really fascinating that you don’t see, like, a hundred billionaires, like, trafficking in sports teams. It’s like small—
BOBBY: I honestly think it’s—
ALEX: —too small fish for them.
BOBBY: Do you know why? I think it’s because it opens them up to scrutiny, that they don’t want to be talked about in that way. Like, sports fans break people.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: People are not— people would be madder at Mark Zuckerberg for— if he bought the Yankees, and didn’t win a World Series in 10 years. They really matter about that than they were that he, like, fixed elections.
ALEX: Right. It— it does, like, come to—
BOBBY: Allegedly.
ALEX: —sort of define your legacy—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —in a weird way. Like you become very closely associated with a very visible, like, franchise or whatever.
BOBBY: It’s a lot of like mid-market billionaires these days—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —who own— particularly, baseball teams.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: You know, like when they were like— it’s unfair that Steve Cohen bought the Mets because he’s worth 20 billion. Like, he’s not even in the top 50.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: He’s barely in the top 100. Some days, he’s probably not. Depending on how his fucking portfolio is right now.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: All right. Let’s go, top 100, are you ready?
ALEX: I’m ready. Let’s do it.
BOBBY: Three-way tie for number 99, Conan at 8.7 billion. Elizabeth Johnson 60 years old, made her money in Fidelity. Contender or no? Long list or No?
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: What is this number over to the right?
ALEX: That’s the—
BOBBY: Self-made?
ALEX: —philanthropy.
BOBBY: Oh, that’s philanthropy?
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: It looks really bad on web. There’s just like a whole black box to the left.
ALEX: I know. I’ve— yeah.
BOBBY: Okay. She’s out. Number 99, age 69, Jimmy Haslam, Tennessee gas stations, DQ’d.
Number 99, Orlando Bravo.
ALEX: Good God. Can you imagine being like, “Yeah, my team is owned by a guy named Orlando Bravo.”
BOBBY: So he’s out because of his name? I love it. He lives in Florida. He made his money in private equity. Goodbye. Number 98, Pauline Macmillan Keinath. Cargill is how she made her money. I don’t know what that is. What is that?
ALEX: The largest food company in the world.
BOBBY: Why doesn’t it just say like food? That’s not a category. Cargill is not a category.
ALEX: Introduction to how we nourish the world. Again, you— you know what I’m getting from this? You know what vibes I’m getting from this? Little, little Bobby— Little Bob Castellini vibes.
BOBBY: Unfortunately, she’s 89, DQ’d.
ALEX: Ah.
BOBBY: Number 96, Henry Kravis, 79 years old, just sneaking under the threshold. New York private equity. Yes or no? Long list or no?
ALEX: He’s got a little bit of a Steve Cohen vibe to him, just like looks-wise. This is— what I mean is like these guys are indistinguishable from each other. Literally, you could just throw a dart.
BOBBY: He does look like Steve Cohen put through like an aging filter.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: Long list or no?
ALEX: No, he’s out.
BOBBY: Okay. Number 96, Joe Gebbia.
ALEX: Oh, God, no.
BOBBY: 42 years old, Texas. You know how he made his cash? He founded Airbnb.
ALEX: Yeah. Along with Brian Chesky, who might have the most punchable face on this list.
BOBBY: I don’t know. Joe’s face is pretty punchable. He’s got that like—
ALEX: Yeah. Have you seen Brian’s face?
BOBBY: Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Number 92, Charles Schwab. Heard of that name.
ALEX: Heard of him.
BOBBY: 86 years old, DQ’d. Number 90— we got a lot of ties on here, because it’s—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —rounding to the tens, so also tied for 92, Jude Reyes, Florida, food distribution, 68 years old. In contention, no, yes, maybe? $35 billion, food and beverage distribution company.
ALEX: Oh, and the— he’s the largest beer distributor in the US.
BOBBY: It’s— that’s kind of cool.
ALEX: Huh? Huh?
BOBBY: Co-chairman Reyes Holdings. How is he the largest beer distributor in the US? Isn’t that— is that not an Anheuser-Busch?
ALEX: I don’t know.
BOBBY: It’s just— these lists— first of all, we— we haven’t really talked about just like the list project in general. That this is just like Forbes’ whole thing. This is what they do.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: People have health care because of this. That’s insane.
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: These lists— this— whenever I look at these lists— oh, so he’s like the largest beer distributor, not the largest beer—
ALEX: Right. He’s not the beer like—
BOBBY: —brewer.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Yeah. Okay. He’s just shipping it out and he’s made— worth $9 billion because of this?
ALEX: I don’t know. Like, this is—
BOBBY: It always makes me remember that I have genuinely no idea how the world works.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Nothing.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Don’t know anything about anything at all.
ALEX: Nope.
BOBBY: Is he in contention? Long list him?
ALEX: No, not on him. Look at that philanthropy, philanthropy score of one, no thanks.
BOBBY: So you really abide to this philanthropy score. Tied for number 92 is— is his brother so we’re gonna skip over him as well.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Also tied for 92, Ramzi Musallam, 55 years old, New York private equity. What a headshot for this guy.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: That is—
ALEX: He looks slick.
BOBBY: He looks trustworthy, I would say. That’s the guy you could trust to keep the A’s in Oakland.
ALEX: He did— he doubled his net worth from 2022 to 2023, so I don’t know.
BOBBY: Nothing shady going on there.
ALEX: Nothing shady going on there
BOBBY: Veritas Capital. I actually— oh, he was their CEO at the beginning of his career. No, no, no.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: Maybe a CEO in 2012. Yeah, he doubled his net worth because he went off— went off on his own, I think. [1:05:49]
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Doesn’t matter. Jordanian immigrant. Wow. Rob would never approve this.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: Okay. Next 89, Robert F. Smith, 60 years old, $9.2 billion. He resides in Texas. Made his money in private equity. Bro, how long before we get to someone who’s not in private equity?
ALEX: We— we won’t. That’s like— that’s how his list works.
BOBBY: Is he in contention?
ALEX: You know— okay. He was not, but he did enter in— into an agreement with the DOJ and IRS to pay 140 million for his role in tax evasion scheme, so—
BOBBY: Accountability.
ALEX: —kinda sick, kind of based. [1:06:33] I think he’s on the long list.
BOBBY: You’re long listing him because he paid back money from tax evasion?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: God, the bar is on the ground. Oh, my God. Where is John Fisher on this list? He’s lower, he’s not—
ALEX: He’s— he’s lower.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: He’s like— we’re in— we’re in guys who were like— people who are worth, like, $9 billion at this point.
BOBBY: Okay. Number—
ALEX: Most sports owners are not in this.
BOBBY: This is where the magic happens. Oh, he’s 94, DQ’d already.
ALEX: I know.
BOBBY: Bernard Marcus, founder of Home Depot.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Sorry, The Home Depot. They have that [1:07:02] it’s wrong here in Forbes. Put some respect on The Home Depot’s name. 89, Jay Chaudhry, 64, security software is how he made his money. CEO of Zscaler. Interesting stylization to that word. Z-S-C, never seen those letters together. Is he on the long list?
ALEX: No. He moved from the Bay Area to Nevada, so maybe it doesn’t portend well where the A’s might end up.
BOBBY: 88, Nancy Walton Laurie. Nancy Walton Laurie inherited a stake in Walmart from her father, Bud Walton who helped his brother Sam build the retail giant. The amount of fucking Waltons—
ALEX: The amount of Walmarters on this list is—
BOBBY: —is insane.
ALEX: —incomprehensible.
BOBBY: It is an unbelievable She is the niece of Sam Walton.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: She’s like— and she just inherited the money—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —and she’s worth 9.3 billion.
ALEX: Self-made score, one. Philanthropy score, one.
BOBBY: L. 87 is an interesting one. How about Ann Walton Kroenke?
ALEX: Goddammit, bro.
BOBBY: 74 years old. She— not only did she inherit Walton money, she’s the— her— the previous one’s sister. She’s also the niece of Sam Walton. She married Stan Kroenke, who we will get to on this list later, who owns the Los Angeles Rams, Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rapids, and Arsenal Football.
ALEX: Waltons are out, every Walton.
BOBBY: You don’t like what they did for— for America? They have greeters in stores.
ALEX: You know, I actually do like what they did for America and I think they should stick to what they know.
BOBBY: Okay. Number 86, Nathan Blecharczyk. He’s another Airbnb guy. How many fucking Airbnb guy— I didn’t know Airbnb was really hitting that hard—
ALEX: [1:08:56]
BOBBY: —to put three guys in the top 100. Goddamn. Good for them. 9.5 billion, he lives in California. What do you think?
ALEX: No. Airbnb guys are— no.
BOBBY: Airbnb guys out. Okay. At 85, Michael Kim co-founded MBK Partners, the Seoul-based private equity firm that bears his initials and manages more than $26 billion in assets. He is 60 years old.
ALEX: Richest man in Korea.
BOBBY: What a title.
ALEX: Just all these like—
BOBBY: They’re so interchangeable.
ALEX: All these private— private equity guys, I just like— I have no— no judgment on.
BOBBY: Okay, 76. We’re all the way up to 76 now because there’s been so many times—
ALEX: We are flying through.
BOBBY: Harry Stine, 81,DQ’d, made his money in agriculture, the good, old fashioned way.
ALEX: Monsanto.
BOBBY: Wait, did he actually found Monsanto?
ALEX: He was like— I— you know— okay.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: [1:09:47]
BOBBY: He—
[laughter]
BOBBY: Farm boy turned seed-genetics savant Harry Stine has made a fortune licensing corn and soybean genetics to multinationals like Monsanto and Syngenta.
ALEX: The son of a hardscrabble farmer is how Forbes describes him.
BOBBY: Wow, charitable ranking one.
ALEX: You know what? I’m kind of bummed that he’s 81, because I think I’d have him on my shortlist.
BOBBY: I mean, imagine the mindfuck that that would be for John Henry, who’s trading soybean futures, to have the soybean genetics guy come in and take his soybean clout.
ALEX: Soybean king. Yeah.
BOBBY: God, we would get two guys out of the [1:10:30], John Fisher and John Henry, two Johns gone. How many Johns own teams? I’ve said the name John so many times. Stop naming people John. Sorry, to my— one of my childhood best friends whose name is John. Number 76, George Roberts, 80 years old, DQ’d, made his money in private equity. Also tied for 76, Victoria Mars. Heard of that?
ALEX: Heard of?
BOBBY: Victoria Mars and her three sisters are heirs to the families giant candy and pet food company, Mars Incorporated. Victoria, Valerie, Pamela, and Marijke, Marijke, Marijke, not really sure.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: They are all tied for 76 at 9.7 billion. What do you say to the Mars sisters? Long list?
ALEX: I kind of— I kind of feeling long list on this.
BOBBY: So far the long list, just for everybody keeping track at ho— at home—
ALEX: Who want to know.
BOBBY: —Dagmar Dolby, J.B. Pritzker and Anthony Pritzker, Robert F. Smith, because he paid money to the IRS—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —and the Mars sisters.
ALEX: Yup. Yeah, yeah.
BOBBY: Okay. Next up, Trudy Cathy White. Ooh. He— she is the only daughter of Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A, Chick fil A heiress. Trudy Cathy White, what do you say? I will lump Dan Cathy and Bubba Cathy into this, the Cathy family. They’re all tied for 76 as well. They are the heirs to the Chick-fil-A empire.
ALEX: Jesus Christ.
BOBBY: They’re all under 80 though, just in case you’re worried about that.
ALEX: That’s a really— really terrifying sentence to say, heirs to the Chick-fil-A empire.
BOBBY: Do you know Chick-fil-A has a presence in Major League Baseball? They’re not fucking around. They know what ball is all about.
ALEX: All right. They do.
BOBBY: Chick-fil-A corner at Citi field.
ALEX: These guys are out.
BOBBY: Okay. any particular reason?
ALEX: I think they should be summarily.
BOBBY: Okay, sounds good. Carl Cook, number 75. Please don’t say anything on this podcast that is legally actionable.
ALEX: I— I didn’t.
BOBBY: That’s because I thought you[1:12:26]
ALEX: You sound like you said it in your head.
BOBBY: You said they shouldn’t be summarily.
ALEX: Right. [1:12:32] summarily awarded with a Medal of Honor.
BOBBY: Okay, the fries, pretty good. Sandwiches—
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —got me through college.
ALEX: Yeah. The—
BOBBY: 75, Carl Cook, 61, made his money in medical devices. Carl Cook took over as CEO of his parents’ medical device manufacturer, Cook Group, when his father Bill died in 2011. They don’t make guys that look like this anymore.
ALEX: No, they really don’t. I’m kind of— I’m— there’s nothing drawing me to him.
BOBBY: Okay. You don’t have to have a reason. You can just say next.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: 72, Henry Samueli, Samueli, not sure, is co-founder and chairman of chipmaker Broadcom. Made his money in semiconductors. Normal way to make your cash.
ALEX: Yup. Owns the Anaheim Ducks.
BOBBY: Oh, so he’s out?
ALEX: So I think— I think he’s out. Sure. I don’t— I don’t know anything about hockey. Are the Ducks a well-run team?
BOBBY: I have no idea.
ALEX: All right. Cool.
BOBBY: But the ducks are cool.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Great logo, great color scheme.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: That duck, purple, the Anaheim Duck is purple and blue, is crushing it.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Those hats are phenomenal.
ALEX: Now, was this a Henry Samueli decision or did— did he inherit this color scheme?
BOBBY: I have to say— I imagined he had, based on what he looks like, nothing to do with it.
ALEX: You don’t think he’s a design aficionado.
BOBBY: He was the farthest guy from that. He looks like a stock photo. 72, John Malone, 82 years old. He is—
ALEX: Heard of him.
BOBBY: —DQ’d.
ALEX: I’ve heard of him.
BOBBY: Nicknamed The Cable Cowboy, John Malone is known for his penchant for media deals and complicated corporate structures. Me, too.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: I actually am known for that now at this point. 72, here’s your man.
ALEX: Here he is.
BOBBY: You are right. He is—
ALEX: Right. Come on. Come on.
BOBBY: —to very punchable. Brian Chesky, $10 billion, 42, founder of Airbnb. He has been DQ’d by Alex for his association with said company. Number 70, Patrick Ryan, 86, made his money in insurance, who among us has not tried that. DQ’d. Number 70, Stephen Ross, a recent subject of this podcast. He’s 83 years old. He’s DQ’d
ALEX: What— what did we talk about on the podcast?
BOBBY: That was when they were developing the site— when Reinsdorf was developing the site for the new—
ALEX: Ah.
BOBBY: —the stadium and the land is owned by Stephen Ross right now.
ALEX: Right. Yes.
BOBBY: Who’s the Miami Dolphins owner, by the way.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: And he’s also on NYU’s board. Number 67, John Tu, 82 years old, DQ’d.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: He made his money in computer hardware. Number 67, also made his money in computer hardware, $10.2 billion, that is David Sun. Co-founded and helps run Kingston Technology, which makes storage and memory products, as COO from a cubicle on the sales floor. Sounds like a self-made man to me.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: 71, lives in California.
ALEX: He got a self-made score of 10. Oh.
BOBBY: A perfect 10.
ALEX: A perfect 10.
BOBBY: A dime you could say. Are you long listing him? He looks like a sweet man.
ALEX: He does look like a sweet man. I mean, the thing is like— there’s something about guys who, like, develop semiconductors, I’m kind of like—
BOBBY: No, no, he— no.
ALEX: Like, you develop computer chips, like how hard would it be to run a baseball team?
BOBBY: He made surface mount memory chips.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: That’s pretty big.
ALEX: That is big. Wait, surface— surface-mount—
BOBBY: Because like without the surface-mount, like you really— how would your computer even work, you know?
ALEX: No, I think they’re out.
BOBBY: Okay, then. Sorry, David. I was pulling for you. 67— also tied for 67, Judy Love and family, 86 years old, made their money in gas stations. They’re DQ’d on multiple— multiple fronts. 66—
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: — Melinda French Gates—
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: —59 years old. One of the most powerful woman— women in philanthropy, as co-chair of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. 59, huh? Intriguing. Philanthropy score, five out of five.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: She lives in Washington, clearly made her money through Microsoft with that name. What do you think? God, it would be so terrible if the Gates— or if the Gates own your team.
ALEX: I mean, I just like— I would not be interested in any of the narratives that would— that would come out of that. I think it’s like—
BOBBY: Which players would refuse to sign with the A’s because of the vaccine if Melinda Gates bought the A’s?
ALEX: Right. Whit Merrifield is no longer playing for the A’s.
BOBBY: Okay, so she’s out then?
ALEX: I— like— like, I’m not reflexively against this idea, but again, this is where the, like, huge philanthropists almost worried me a little bit, because I feel like they don’t necessarily want the act of involved. Like they just want to, like, give the money away and then be done with it.
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: You know? And be able to write it off.
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: So I— for that reason, I think I’m out.
BOBBY: Okay. 65, Eric Smidt, Smidt.
ALEX: Is this the Google guy? Oh, no. This is Eric Schmidt.
BOBBY: I know. Sorry, Eric Smidt, not Schmidt. Smidt. Smidt. Very important distinction. 63 years old, California. CEO of Harbor Freight Tools. Gotta say, my dad fucking loves Harbor Freight tools. You never know what to get my dad for a holiday, for a birthday, for Father’s Day, just because he’s being a good guy. Well, $25 Gift Card of Harbor Freight goes a long way.
ALEX: I’m— I’m kind of feeling long list right now, solely from— from your dad’s recommendation. I— just a bit of a footnote, in 2010, his dad did sue him for looting the company, so I just want to toss that in there. It’s just something we might have to consider down the road.
BOBBY: Kind of like a John Fisher successor—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —in some ways.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Looting the company?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: That was the verbiage?
ALEX: That was the verbiage, in quotes.
BOBBY: Okay. Edward Johnson IV, number 64, 58—
ALEX: Another— another Fidelity guy.
BOBBY: —58 years old, founded Fidelity Investments. His— his grandfather founded Fidelity Investments.
ALEX: Right. No, not feeling it.
BOBBY: Okay. John Doerr, 72. He’s number 63 on the list. He’s 72 years old, California, made his money in Venture Capital. He’s the chairman of Venture Capital firm Kleiner Perkins. 10.7 billion, we’re up to now. What do you think? Venture Capital feels like another one that we should have— I mean, but it’s so hard, but—
ALEX: But, like, Venture Capital, private equity, hedge funds, what’s the fucking difference?
BOBBY: Venture capital, to me—
ALEX: I guess is a little more like— like speculative.
BOBBY: —you are literally coming— yeah, well, but you’re also like— yeah. We don’t need to make the decision right now 90 minutes—
ALEX: No. What is— what is Venture Capital to you?
BOBBY: It’s a really cool thing that’s gonna save media, I think.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Yeah.
BOBBY: It’s definitely 100% success rate. Venture Capital has not had any downstream effects on the trustworthiness of the media, the financial success of the media, the importance of the media, the functionality and freedom of the media and the press.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I think Venture Capital has been a fucking godsend—
ALEX: yeah.
BOBBY: —for the media.
ALEX: Venture Capital media addicts be like, “No, bro, I swear. Just— there’s— there’s one more acquisition. There’s one more acquisition is the one that’s going to turn it around.”
BOBBY: “We’re gonna put Sports Illustrated logo on tote bags.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: “Tote bags. Think about it.”
ALEX: It worked for Bon Appetit.
BOBBY: Number 62, Robert Kraft.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: 82 years old, the GOAT.
ALEX: The GOAT.
BOBBY: DQ’d, though, because he’s too old.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: That’s the only reason he’s DQ ‘d, though. 61—
ALEX: Oh, Jesus Christ.
BOBBY: I’m so happy we’re here. Online retail magnate, Michael Rubin, CEO of online sports merchandise— merchandising retailer Fanatics. He’s 51 years old. He’s worth $11.5 billion. He has been an owner of a team in the past, but he is not currently. He used to own the Philadelphia 70 Sixers. He’s the scariest looking man who’s ever lived.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: He is also the most well-connected man alive. It would be the funniest thing for the show if he acquires the Oakland Athletics. What say you about Michael Rubin? Fanatics makes insufferable and terrible quality products.
ALEX: Yeah. I— would he like even be allowed to do this? Because like Fanatics is like— is— it’s like—
BOBBY: Because that’s why he like divested from the Sixers.
ALEX: Right. Yeah.
BOBBY: Because, like, there was too much business— competing business interest leaguewide.
ALEX: Yeah. So, unfortunately, I feel like he— he might be out, although I just want to say— Wikipedia page notes that he hosts an annual, quote, ‘white party’ in the Hamptons for Independence Day, which is like—
BOBBY: You don’t know about this?
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: The— you actually don’t know about the Michael Rubin white party?
ALEX: No, bro.
BOBBY: You’ve never heard about this before?
ALEX: Nope.
BOBBY: Honestly—
ALEX: Elucidate me.
BOBBY: —that is shocking to me. Shocking. It’s like the biggest celebrity event of the year. Everybody comes. Only reason I know so much about it is because like all the Sixers players went, because they are all friends with him, because he used to be the owner. And, like—
ALEX: I feel like I have— I have seen— like seen this before, but [1:22:07]
BOBBY: —Leonardo DiCaprio was there, like Kim Kardashian was there.
ALEX: —like associate him.
BOBBY: It’s like— yeah. He’s— that— like all those pictures that you saw going around of all these celebrities just wearing all white house at a house in New Hamptons.
ALEX: That’s like— that’s— that’s him.
BOBBY: That’s his thing. Yeah. I can’t believe you don’t know about that. Like, I love getting to explain things to you.
ALEX: Again, like, I’ve seen these— I’ve seen these photos before but, like—
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: —I don’t know who Michael Rubin is.
BOBBY: We’ve spent so much time on Michael Rubin.
ALEX: We’ve spent a lot—
BOBBY: Is he going on the long list?
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: Number 60—
ALEX: He legally can’t [1:22:34]
BOBBY: —Donald Newhouse, 94 years old. He and his brother Samuel inherited the publishing and broadcasting empire Advance Publication decades ago. He’s 94, he’s DQ’d. Number 58, Christy Walton, another Walmart person.
ALEX: They’re back.
BOBBY: She’s DQ’d as well for being part of Walmart. Number 58 also, Israel Englander, 75 years old, lives in New York, hedge funds Millennium Management 1989.
ALEX: He feels like the kind of guy who probably would buy the A’s.
BOBBY: I know. And then there’s like 38 explainer pieces, who is Israel Englander?
ALEX: Yeah, I’m out.
BOBBY: Okay. 57, Leon Black. Leon Black is the co-founder of private equity behemoth, Apollo Global Management, which manages $600 billion in assets. But one of the more famous private equity people in the world, like him and Steve Cohen are up there.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Like he is a mainstay of New York private equity. He’s always on the shows. He’s always talking. He is out and about, Leon Black. He— is he disgraced?
ALEX: Well, always good when you have a section under Wikipedia that’s titled Jeffrey Epstein relationship.
BOBBY: That’s what I thought, yeah.
ALEX: He paid, like, him like hundreds of millions of dollars in fees.
BOBBY: Interesting. Okay. Well, I think he’s out. 55, very excited to talk about this guy. Very excited to talk about this guy.
ALEX: Are you— you were— you even mentioned this before we started recording.
BOBBY: I think that he’s like a contender for you.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: 39 years old, California, made his money via the little, old thing called Facebook. Dustin Moskovitz. He was Mark Zuckerberg’s roommate. Famously just hanging out and about in the 2011 film The Social Network. 2011, 2010?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: What do you— what do you think about Dustin— Dustin Moskovitz?
ALEX: Oh, God. I don’t know. I mean—
BOBBY: I genuinely cannot tell you a single thing about this guy. He’s just 39 and he made billions of dollars via Facebook. And now, he like—
ALEX: He founded a sauna.
BOBBY: Oh, no, he’s out.
ALEX: Not a sauna guy?
BOBBY: I was rooting for you. You were the chosen one. You were meant—
ALEX: He’s—
BOBBY: —to bring balance to the Oakland Athletics.
ALEX: So the thing is like he lives in the Bay Area, right? He lives in San Francisco, so he’s got the local ties.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: He is a big philanthropist. He’s—
BOBBY: I can deal with the sauna. I can live with that.
ALEX: The thing that worries me about him a little bit—
BOBBY: If it was like Okta, I’d be like, “No.”
ALEX: Yeah, I know. He’s— he’s one of these Effective Altruism guys.
BOBBY: Oh.
ALEX: And he even looks a little bit like Sam Bankman-Fried, who’s— who— again, if we’d scroll down to the bottom of this Forbes 400, he would have been right there, and— and would have been on my long list.
BOBBY: Does he have any money? I think it’s somehow up for litigation.
ALEX: Yeah. Dustin— Dustin Moskovitz—
BOBBY: I feel like he’s long list [1:25:40]
ALEX: I think he might be long list.
BOBBY: Like the guy— the guy who founded Facebook, who’s not Zuckerberg, owning the A’s.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: That’s— that’s like cosmically sort of perfect.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Also tied for 55, Shahid Khan. He’s the owner of auto parts supplier Flex-N-Gate and also the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars. 73 years old, what do you think?
ALEX: I do like his vibe.
BOBBY: I think he’s kind of evil, though. Like, I think he’s like crazy right wing.
ALEX: Hmm.
BOBBY: I think he was like one of Trump’s appointees somewhere, like a foreign diplomat. I could be wrong. Also, I— I think he— look at this man.
ALEX: I— I know. I know.
BOBBY: I think he— I could be misremembering this, but I think that there’s like a— like a really bad Jaguars, like, head coaching firing scandal involving him.
ALEX: All right, cool. So— so he’s out then?
BOBBY: Yeah. I could be wrong. Next up—
ALEX: I— okay.
BOBBY: [1:26:51] you’re like getting so excited.
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: 54, Laurene Powell Jobs and family. She inherited her fortune mostly through shares of Walt Disney and Apple from her late husband, Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs, who died in 2011. She is worth $13.4 billion. She is 59 years old. In terms of on paper, she’s right in your sweet spot.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. I did come into this exercise with her kind of on my shortlist.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Because she does feel like— I— I think she checks a lot of the boxes. I’ll note that she actually— she owns a minority stake in, like, a sports conglomerate that owns— that like has stakes in NBA, NHL, and WNBA teams. So like, in theory, maybe she like— you know, if— if we were doing people who don’t already own sports teams.
BOBBY: I don’t know why that’s a characteristic, but—
ALEX: It doesn’t mean— that’s— okay. Sure. It doesn’t necessarily like [1:27:53]
BOBBY: You just don’t want someone who’s, like, already famous for owning another team.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: It could be like Mark Cuban—
ALEX: I want Robert Kraft to buy my baseball team. Like, all right.
BOBBY: You could do worse.
ALEX: Whatever. You could do far worse.
BOBBY: You could do worse.
ALEX: I’ve been [1:28:03]
BOBBY: In fact, some might argue you are doing worse currently.
ALEX: Uh-huh. I kind of— I kind of vibe with it. She’s like not too philanthropic, and in fact—
BOBBY: I love that you in fact yourself with this [1:28:16] you have to be like, “She doesn’t give away very much money. That’s a good thing.”
ALEX: Inside Philanthropy.
BOBBY: Everything is fine.
ALEX: You— you know Inside Philanthropy, the news? You’ve read it, right?
BOBBY: I have written there a couple times.
ALEX: Yeah. Designated her the least transparent mega giver, which I kind of love. It’s like she gives a lot of money, but you don’t quite know where it goes. That’s sick.
BOBBY: That’s insane—
ALEX: That’s so cool.
BOBBY: Insane phrasing. Okay, she’s on the long list. Number 51, Jeffrey Hildebrand made his money in oil, DQ’d. Number 51 as well, David Green and family, 81 years old, DQ’d.
ALEX: Oh, God. The Hobby Lobby founder? Hell yeah.
BOBBY: A preacher son from a poor background, Hobby Lobby founder David Green opened its first craft shop in 1970 with a $600 mil— 600 loan. Talk about self-made. Too bad, 81, DQ’d.
Also tied for 51 David Duffield. This man looks like he was stolen out of a Western and forced to wear a suit.
ALEX: He looks like he already would own a baseball team.
BOBBY: He’s so sunburned.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: He co-founded not just one, but two successful enterprise software companies after age 40. Who says that—
ALEX: Who says it’s a game for the young men?
BOBBY: PeopleSoft and Workday. He created Workday?
ALEX: He did Workday.
BOBBY: Please just fucking kill me.
ALEX: I’m out.
BOBBY: He’s 83 and— anyway, so he’s DQ’ds. Number 50, Andrew Beal, 70 years old, lives in Texas. He made his money in banks and real estate.
ALEX: Made a tidy sum during the Great Recession, scooping up beaten down assets.
BOBBY: Do you like— do you like him?
ALEX: I kind of do. Like, I have to respect the grind.
BOBBY: I’m putting him on the long list.
ALEX: Oh, God.
BOBBY: We’re going to slow. 49, George Kaiser, oil and gas and 81, DQ’d. Number 48, Jerry Jones. I love that of all of the people on this list, he’s listed as making his money for the Dallas Cowboys.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: What a goat.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: 80, DQ’d. 47, Stanley Kroenke 76. Aforementioned, Stanley Kroenke, when you know him, you just call him Stan.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So we’re gonna call him Stan. He lives in Texas. He owns a bunch of fucking teams.
ALEX: And—
BOBBY: And the A’s would— the A’s would be like the smallest part of his sports portfolio.
ALEX: Yes.
BOBBY: So I— I’m guessing no for him?
ALEX: I think— I think we’re out on him.
Bobbby: 45, Autry Stevens, 85 years old, DQ’d. Also made their money in oil.
ALEX: Looks— again, looks like he owns a baseball team already.
BOBBY: He looks like Ken Kendrick.
ALEX: Yes, he does.
BOBBY: Oh, my God. How is his head shaped— shaped like that? 45, Philip Anschutz, 83 years old, DQ’d. What does he own—
ALEX: He also made his money in oil.
BOBBY: What does he own, though? It says energy, sports, and entertainment. This is a really funny bio. Over five decades, Philip Anschutz has built fortunes in oil, railroads, telecom, real estate, and entertainment. Talk about the fucking American dream.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. He owns the Los Angeles Kings.
BOBBY: Huh, how about that?
ALEX: And has a stake in the Los Angeles Galaxy and owns crypto.com Arena.
BOBBY: Number 44—
ALEX: Where the Kings play.
BOBBY: crypto.com arena, yeah, that’s where the Lakers play.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: He owns that? He owns Staples Center? Since fucking when?
ALEX: I don’t know what to tell you, man.
BOBBY: The Lakers don’t own Staple Center?
ALEX: What?
BOBBY: Number 44, Jan Koumb, co-founded WhatsApp, now the world’s biggest mobile messaging service in 2009. How do you make $15.1 billion from founding WhatsApp? How does WhatsApp make money?
ALEX: You fucking— you sell it to Facebook—
BOBBY: It’s free.
ALEX: —is what you do.
BOBBY: How— like, I’m trying to apply, like, Marx’s labor theory of value to WhatsApp—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —two hours into a podcast.
ALEX: Uh-huh. Fool’s errand.
BOBBY: What do you think? You’re kind of considering it.
ALEX: Yeah, but I think I’m— I’m leaning towards no at this time.
BOBBY: He lightweight looks like John Fisher.
ALEX: A little bit, like— like de-aged three years.
BOBBY: Yeah. 42 Leonard Lauder, founded Estee Lauder. Unfortunately, Leonard is 90, so he’s DQ’d. 42, Ray Dalio, 74 years old, lives in Connecticut, makes money in hedge funds. What do you think? Bridgewater Associates. Everybody knows Bridgewater Associates.
ALEX: Everybody knows Bridgewater. Bro, I don’t fucking—
BOBBY: Stop getting mad.
ALEX: Another hedge fund guy. Okay. We get it.
BOBBY: We’re just doing the thing we said we were gonna do. Stop getting mad. We’re about to get to some— ones that are interesting to you.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: 41, Rick Cohen and family. Warehouse automation is how he made his money. He is the owner and executive chairman of C&S— C&S Wholesale Grocers. The nation’s largest grocery wholesaler with 33 billion in annual revenue. Sounds like Castellini with money.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I kind of love it.
ALEX: I kind of don’t hate it.
BOBBY: All right, long list. 40, Rupert Murdoch.
ALEX: Like, I don’t even know why. Sure.
BOBBY: 4— 40, Rupert Murdoch. He’s 92.
ALEX: Oh, really?
BOBBY: Should we consider just the Murdoch family [1:33:44] dies?
ALEX: The Murdoch family. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Because he’s like on the brink.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: What— what’s the— what’s the one— the son’s name? Lachlan? I suppose—
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah.
BOBBY: Well, let’s consider Lachlan, then.
ALEX: Lachlan Murdoch.
BOBBY: Taking a long look in the mirror—
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —considering what it would be like for the Murdoch to own the A’s.
ALEX: He— that’s right.
BOBBY: Succession is a documentary.
ALEX: Yeah. No. No.
BOBBY: 39, Donald Bren, 91 years old, DQ’d. 38, Diane Hendricks, 76 years old, made her money in building supplies. She chairs ABC Supply, one of the largest wholesale distributors of roofing, siding, and windows in America. Gotta say, what a girl boss.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Construction, usually a field for the boys.
ALEX: That’s what I always say.
BOBBY: How do you feel?
ALEX: I guess the— the windows on the casino that’s built next to the A’s stadium will look good. Like, I don’t know.
BOBBY: She has spent millions on local economic development, rebuilding entire blocks in Beloit and bringing in several new businesses to the state. Hmm.
ALEX: Sounds like Coliseum city to me.
BOBBY: You gotta make a choice.
ALEX: No, I’m not feeling it [1:35:00]
BOBBY: All right. 37, Steve Cohen, DQ’d because on account of the fact that he owns the New York Mets. 36, this is Eric Schmidt. Left the board of Google parent company Alphabet in June 2018 after 18 years. He stayed on as a technical adviser until February 2020. Pretty lackluster description—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —of Eric Schmidt there.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Just like what he’s done in the last year. Google, Google. He made his money in Google. What do you think?
ALEX: I fucking hate this guy. I don’t know. He just like— he’s like very smarmy. You know, he has a whole media career now where he, like, talks about, like, responsibility and, like, the dangers of AI and stuff. And I’m just like, “We get it.”
BOBBY: Yeah, I have a— a big thing about AI, but I’m not gonna share it on this podcast. 35, David Tepper. You know this guy as arguably—
ALEX: Yeah. Appaloosa Management.
BOBBY: You— you at home know this guy as arguably the greatest hedge fund manager of his generation. What the fuck? Like who— you got Jordan, LeBron, or David Tepper. He— I thinks he owns the Panthers.
ALEX: He does.
BOBBY: I think he’s not a good guy, but I could be wrong. Do you want to put them on the long list?
ALEX: He told an interviewer in 2010 that, “Sometimes if someone is an asshole, like a waiter at the restaurant, I think I could just buy this place and fire that guy.” Based as fuck, man. That’s thinking big picture. No. David Tepper is out.
BOBBY: 34, Daniel Gilbert. Daniel Gilbert is worth 21.3 billion. Quicken Loans is how he made his money. He’s a slumlord in Detroit, and he owns the Cleveland Cavaliers.
ALEX: Owns the Cav— yeah.
BOBBY: I’m gonna just— I’m gonna say no on this one.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: 33, John Menard, Jr., home improvement stores. Menards, are you familiar with the Menards from [1:36:59]
ALEX: I’m actually not.
BOBBY: Yeah, I think it’s pretty regional. He’s 83, he’s DQ’d. Thomas Frist, Jr. and family. 85 years old, Thomas Frist, made his money in hospitals, DQ’d. 31, Lucas Walton. That’s Walmart—
ALEX: [1:37:11]
BOBBY: —DQ’d. He’s 37. Wow. He’s the grandson of Sam Walton. He probably earned his way to his role, though, in Walmart.
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That self-made score is gotta be a 10.
BOBBY: Harold Hamm and family, number 30, $25.2 billion, 77 years old. Fracking pioneer Harold Hamm founded and chairs Continental Resources, one of the nation’s biggest independent oil companies. DQ’d. 29, Abigail Johnson, 61 years old, CEO of Fidelity In— Fidelity Investments since 2014, where she took over for her father and has been chairman since 2016. More like chairwoman, you know?
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Fidelity, you’re in or out on Fidelity?
ALEX: What’s Fidelity do? You like— you can buy stocks there?
BOBBY: I— yeah, I think it’s like an investment app.
ALEX: All right. I’m out.
BOBBY: I think it’s like Schwab, you know?
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: They’re all in the same zone to me.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: 28, Jeff Yass.
ALEX: Even his photo— his photo looks like Jeff Yass.
BOBBY: Co-founder of Susquehanna International Group, one of Wall Street’s largest and most successful trading firms. Also, Susquehanna Bank.
ALEX: Oh, he used to be a pro gambler.
BOBBY: This guy is based.
ALEX: Yeah. And early investor in TikTok. He—
BOBBY: Susquehanna Bank used to be the name of the arena where you and I went and saw—
ALEX: Come on, bring it home.
BOBBY: I don’t know why his photo being open on my screen, it’s just—
ALEX: Jarring.
BOBBY: It’s where we went and saw Earth, Wind & Fire.
ALEX: Was it actually?
BOBBY: Yeah, yeah. That used to be Susquehanna Bank Center.
ALEX: Oh.
BOBBY: I don’t know what it’s called now. It’s changed five times in my life. Hmm, long list.
ALEX: I don’t know. Let’s see. He’s a major supporter of Israeli right wing think tanks.
BOBBY: Good God. What the fuck? Okay. 27—
ALEX: He’s avoided $1 billion in taxes by pouring his money into political campaigns.
BOBBY: —Thomas Peterffy.
ALEX: Woo!
BOBBY: A digital trading pioneer, Thomas Peterffy chairs Interactive Brokers, which markets specialized trading platform to sophisticated investors, sophisticated investors only. 79 years old, lives in Florida.
ALEX: No, I don’t want a Floridian owning my baseball team.
BOBBY: Agreed. Jim Simons, 85 years old, he’s number 25, DQ’d. 25, Len Blavatnik, 66 years old, does not have a residence listed. They don’t know where he lives. He moves in silence. Made his money in music and chemicals. Born in Ukraine, raised North of Moscow. Len Blavatnik immigrated to the US in 1978 with his family. He studied Computer Science at Columbia University and received an MBA from Harvard Business School. I still don’t really understand how he made his money. Where did the money come from?
ALEX: He made his initial fortune after the collapse of the Soviet Union and the privatization of state-owned aluminum and oil assets. Also, he owns most of Warner Music Group.
BOBBY: Holy shit. [1:40:26]
ALEX: Also, he’s knighted.
BOBBY: I’m so sorry. Sir Len Blavatnik.
ALEX: That’s right.
BOBBY: Wow. From the collapse of the USSR, it’s amazing. Okay. He’s DQ’d because of oil, then. Miriam—
ALEX: I— which is kind of a bummer because I’m kind of into him, man.
BOBBY: That would be awesome if he bought the A’s. 24, Miriam Adelson and family. She’s 77. She’s the CEO and chairman of casino company Las Vegas Sands— sorry. Wait, she’s the widow of Sheldon Adelson.
ALEX: She’s Sheldon— yeah.
BOBBY: The former CEO and chairman of casino company Las Vegas Sands.
ALEX: I don’t know. What— are we feeling the Adelsons?
BOBBY: For the purposes of this podcast, it doesn’t seem like she would be likely to prevent the A’s from moving to Vegas.
ALEX: I don’t think so. Nope.
BOBBY: 23, Stephen Schwarzman. We’re up to the— we’re up to $34.5 billion, by the way. Son of a dry goods store owner, Stephen Schwarzman founded private equity firm Blackstone with fellow billionaire Peter Peterson in 1985.
ALEX: Self-made king.
BOBBY: He’s another New York investment guy, yes, no, maybe? So what do you think?
ALEX: Yeah, I mean, he is— he’s a Republican. In 2010, he compared the Obama Administration’s plan to raise the tax rate on carried interest, heard of it, to, like, when Hitler invaded Poland.
BOBBY: Those words came out of his mouth.
ALEX: He said, “It’s a war.” It’s like when Hitler invaded Poland in 1939. Man, rich person brain is really cool.
BOBBY: No, it’s exactly like that. 22, Ken Griffin. Ken Griffin founded and runs—
ALEX: Goated.
BOBBY: —Citadel—
ALEX: Goated.
BOBBY: —a Miami-based hedge fund firm that manages more than $60 billion in assets. This looks like an oil painting of him.
ALEX: It does.
BOBBY: What do you think? What do you think about KG? He’s only 54, but he lives in Florida. So you kind of have loosely DQ’d Florida billionaires from buying California-based baseball teams.
ALEX: Yeah, I know. And— and because he was trying to short sell, you know, GameStop stock. I just— I can’t get behind him.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: That’s a big Wall Street bets guy.
BOBBY: Let the kids play.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: 21, MacKenzie Scott.
ALEX: Sick.
BOBBY: You all know who MacKenzie Scott is.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: MacKenzie Scott is a philanthropist, author, and the ex-wife of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, to whom she was married for 25 years. As part of their 2019 divorce, she received a 4% stake in the online retailer Amazon. Are we longlisting MacKenzie Scott?
ALEX: Employs a no strings attached style of giving, where she just hands over the money and says, “However you want to use it.”
BOBBY: That sounds like what could save the A’s.
ALEX: Which I kind of love. I know that, like, runs in the face of like not wanting someone to be too philanthropic.
BOBBY: Tied at 19, Jo— are we— are we longlisting MacKenzie?
ALEX: Yeah. Longlist her.
BOBBY: Okay. Tied at 19, John Mars and Jacqueline Mars, more from the Mars family, so I’m gonna fold them into the— the whole Mars family.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Even though— I mean, they’re like the—
BOBBY: The founders, the patriarchs.
ALEX: Well, wait, no, they didn’t.
BOBBY: Oh, the siblings.
ALEX: They didn’t find it. They like—
BOBBY: John and his siblings, Jacqueline and Forrest, Jr., inherited stakes in the candy. This is very confusing to me. I need a Mars family tree.
ALEX: Candy, food, and pet care firm? I’m— I didn’t know the Mars [1:43:41]
BOBBY: 18, Phil Knight, 85, too old. Sorry, Phil. Nice work founding Nike and whatnot.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I would appreciate if you stopped with the sweatshops. 17, Jensen Huang, 60 semiconductors guy.
ALEX: He makes the chips that are, like, powering AI right now. I—
BOBBY: Yeah, co-founded graphics chip maker NVIDIA in 1993 and has served as its CEO and president since inception. He’s worth $40.7 billion, because he made chips.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: He does live in California, though.
ALEX: Yeah, he lives in Los Altos.
BOBBY: Too close. The AI is too much.
ALEX: The AI is a little— a little much for me.
BOBBY: 16, we’re getting to the goats of the goats.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: We’re in the pantheon now, rather.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Strap in. Charles Koch and family.
ALEX: Yes. I mean, he’s my— he’s my—
BOBBY: What does Koch Industries do? America’s second largest private company by revenue since 1967. It doesn’t say what they— what did they mean—
ALEX: Businesses including pipelines, chemical software, automated com— components and Dixie cups.
BOBBY: Really?
ALEX: Are you a big Dixie cup guy?
BOBBY: So like if I buy a Dixie cup, I’m funding the Dakota Access Pipeline? Okay. He’s 87 and he’s Charles Koch, so he’s DQ’d.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Number 15, Julia Koch, she’s DQ’d also because of— on— on behalf of Koch Industries. We got a nice, little run here. 14th— 14 Alice Walton, 66.5 billion. 13, Rob Walton, 67.5 billion. 12, Jim Walton, 68.2 billion.
ALEX: Bro, I don’t understand how there is this much fortune to be inherited. What do you mean that each of them got $40 billion? There’s like 12 of these fucking kids running around, and grandkids, and nephews, and nieces, and whatever.
BOBBY: At least the nieces thing is really fun.
ALEX: It’s really— well, like—
BOBBY: You don’t understand? There’s a fucking Walmart on every corner of every fucking block in America.
ALEX: I guess so, man. This is my coastal elite talking.
BOBBY: And guess what? All of that value built on the backs of workers making minimum wage.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: 11, Michael Dell, still only 58. Chairman and CEO of Dell Technologies, which formed in 2016 via Dell’s $60 billion merger with computer storage giant EMC. Dell—
ALEX: No. No.
BOBBY: —Intel Core processors.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: What’s wrong with Dell? You could do worse than Michael Dell—
ALEX: I don’t know. What is right with the— sure. Yeah, you could—
BOBBY: 10, Michael Bloomberg, 81, DQ’d. Sorry. Number 9—
ALEX: Because he— because he already has a stake in the Baltimore Orioles.
BOBBY: And he’s 81. Number 9, at long last, we’re swimming with the big fish now. Steve Ballmer, the high wattage former CEO of Microsoft who led the company from 2000 to 2014. Steve Ballmer clocks in at $101 billion. Talk about a sports owner who actually has so much money that he could buy the whole league.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I really— the way that people talk about Steve Cohen is actually how Steve Ballmer is. It’s just that there’s a salary cap in the NBA.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: There’s not a salary cap in Major League Baseball. And Steve Cohen already spends a lot of time in the state of California, even though he technically lives in Washington.
ALEX: Steve Ballmer?
BOBBY: Yeah, sorry. Steve Ballmer. I think this is your—
ALEX: Are you think— are you thinking long list?
BOBBY: I honestly think this is your— the right answer, like to this question. I— he is insane. He wants to win—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —at all costs. He has poured so much money into the Clippers, who suck.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: Basketball is a really—
ALEX: He’s looking for a win.
BOBBY: Basketball is a really hard sport to just spend your way into winning compared to some of the other sports, because if you don’t draft the right guy, if you don’t have LeBron or Nikola Jokic, you know, like you’re cooked. But in baseball, think about how immediately overnight this would change the A’s. I got— I think he, like, legally has to be long list, you know?
ALEX: I think so.
BOBBY: He would be perfect. Number 8, Mark Zuckerberg $106 billion. He’s 39 years old. I don’t know if you know this, but Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook at Harvard in 2004 at the age of 19. For students to match names with photos of classmates, that’s what it says on Forbes.
ALEX: Hmm. I don’t know if that’s exactly what they were doing. I don’t know if that’s exactly how that started out.
BOBBY: Somebody did not watch the movie.
ALEX: No, I’m— I’m not interested in Mark owning my team.
BOBBY: Sweet Baby Ray’s, the only condiment available at the Coliseum.
ALEX: God If you thought the virtual ballpark experience is bad now—
BOBBY: I feel like you know who sold my Sweet Baby Ray’s, too. Come on, I’m working hard. We’re over two hours into this pod. By the way, this is gonna be our longest pod ever.
ALEX: I know. I know. Remember we would, like, save the two-hour pod for like a—
BOBBY: I think this is worth it.
ALEX: All right.
BOBBY: So no— no to the Zuck? If you’re going to have a Facebook guy, it might as well be Moskovitz.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: God, it would be funny if Zuckerberg own the A’s, though. Talk about a guy who’s even weirder and more socially awkward than John Fisher.
ALEX: I mean, this is where we’re running into, like, the other owners wouldn’t allow this sort of thing.
BOBBY: No, he’s way too rich.
ALEX: He’s— he’s way too rich.
BOBBY: They’re all way too rich.
ALEX: And also he’s just like not of their ilk.
BOBBY: They would never allow Steve Ballmer.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: All the issues that people were bringing up about Steve Cohen—
ALEX: Is magnified by 10.
BOBBY: Oh, my God. But we’re witch casting. Number 7, Sergey Brin, heard of him, founded Google, 110 billion. You fucking hate the Google guys.
ALEX: I fuck— I
BOBBY: The look on your face when any— when the word Google comes up.
ALEX: But, like, I hate all these guys, right? It’s like each of them unleashes a different visceral reaction.
BOBBY: Bill Gates, number 6.
ALEX: Yeah, I’m in.
BOBBY: He’s only 67. He looks rough for 67. You got that much money, maybe he should be doing the fucking blood transfusion shit that that guy is doing, Bryan whatever.
ALEX: Is Bill Gates the only guy who— when you open— when you click on his name, there’s a full profile and a premium article?
BOBBY: Number 5, Larry Page, the other founder of Google.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: So that’s gonna be a no?
ALEX: I think that’s gonna— yeah. I mean— what is the argument for? Just that they—
BOBBY: Like live in the area?
ALEX: —a higher net worth than have— live in the area [1:50:06]
BOBBY: They don’t seem like they know what sports are, maybe.
ALEX: No.
BOBBY: Like that they don’t know what a sport is.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Zuckerberg, though, also seems that way. But he does MMA.
ALEX: True.
BOBBY: Number 4, Warren Buffett, known as the Oracle of Omaha. Warren Buffet—
ALEX: Oh, I know.
BOBBY: —is one of the most successful investors of all time. I know him as Warren friend of Alex Rodriguez. He’s 93, but, you know, A-Rod vouches for his mental acuity and his work ethic to this day. So I know that we’ve been DQ-ing people who are over 80, but really, he’s like a 70-year-old 93.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: So what do you think, Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway? They would be able to find a new plot of land to build a stadium. That’s this whole thing.
ALEX: I know they would. I—
BOBBY: This is what it’s all been for.
ALEX: I know. To get to these names. To read it, it’s—
BOBBY: Seven years of the pod is for me to sell Warren Buffett to you.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. No. I’m out on Warren Buffett.
BOBBY: Larry Ellison?
ALEX: I’m in on Larry Ellison.
BOBBY: Oh, man. Larry Ellison is the chairman, chief technology officer, and co-founder of software giant Oracle, of which he owns just under 40%. Here’s a pop quiz. What does Oracle do?
ALEX: They— they have like a— a SAS, like— like software as a service or they— they’re like— like security, privacy?
BOBBY: You’re just saying words.
ALEX: Right?
BOBBY: Cloud applications and cloud platform.
ALEX: Cloud. I— I should have known it was fucking cloud.
BOBBY: You don’t get that big [1:51:31] it’s cloud.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: It’s just like storage. It’s like— it’s like real estate, but for the internet. That’s how—
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: That’s their mentality to this. That’s how they—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —made so much money. How do you become—
ALEX: It’s kind of like enterprise, you know?
BOBBY: —a $158 billion for having cloud storage? How does that happen? How does that happen? There’s probably like a million articles about how it happens.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: But I’m not interested in that. So you want me to long list Larry Ellison?
ALEX: He kind of checks all the boxes, right? He’s like—
BOBBY: I mean, he lives in San Francisco.
ALEX: He lives in San Francisco. He’s vaguely— he— I mean, he’s like pretty Republican. He settled insider trading suits.
BOBBY: Right. He also is like aware of sports.
ALEX: He owns an island in Hawaii.
BOBBY: So does Zuckerberg, though,
ALEX: [1:52:14]
BOBBY: That’s where he does all this training.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Also, he— like he is aware of sports because Or— Oracle Arena, you know, he has a relationship with the Warriors.
ALEX: True.
BOBBY: Isn’t Oracle the jersey sponsor of the Warriors, too? Maybe not, I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. Why are we get— why are we talking about the [1:52:30]
ALEX: That was like Rakuten or something.
BOBBY: Oh, yeah. Another company. what do they do? What does Rakuten do?
ALEX: I don’t know.
BOBBY: Fucking internet?
ALEX: Aren’t they like— like technology products? Like— like, mp3 players?
BOBBY: Financial technology company.
ALEX: Okay. That’s— I was on the right path. Stevie is like—
BOBBY: People also ask—
ALEX: — “You guys are so close right now.” You would just— you can power through.
BOBBY: People also ask, what does Rakuten do? Now, we can’t get hung up in Rakuten. We’re not even talking about—
ALEX: No, we’re not even talking about Rakuten.
BOBBY: Number two— I long listed Larry Ellison, by the way, which is hilarious.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Uh-huh.
BOBBY: Number two, Jeff Bezos. He has a premium article next to his name, too.
ALEX: A premium— I know. but not if MacKenzie’s in the running, right? We can’t have both of them on there.
BOBBY: Bidding war? Who’s willing to throw more away for the A’s?
ALEX: Jeff Bezos.
BOBBY: I’m not sure if you know. He founded e-commerce giant Amazon in 1994 out of a Seattle garage. Not sure if that story has made its way down to you.
ALEX: Uh-uh. I think that’s reasonable.
BOBBY: He believes in the free press as well. Democracy Dies in Darkness famously. Yeah, Bezos, yes. no, maybe so?
ALEX: He’s gonna buy the— the Nationals, so I feel like he might be out. He—
BOBBY: He’s not gonna buy the [1:53:42] that’s not happening. Number one, this fucking hostage—
ALEX: Here he is.
BOBBY: —photo of him.
ALEX: Here he is.
BOBBY: Elon Musk, 251 billion,
ALEX: Which like— I just want to say—
BOBBY: The real time list has— has him a lot lower, by the way.
ALEX: Well, that’s because he— a— a court just voided his, like, $55 billion payout from Tesla the other day, so his net worth got slashed by, like, 20%.
BOBBY: Who cares? Elon Musk co-founded six companies, including electric carmaker Tesla, rocket producer SpaceX, and tunneling startup Boring Company. We have already— we are on the record as this being the worst possible outcome for all sports fans involved. Is Elon Musk buying specifically the A’s? He’s like wearing A’s jerseys for some reason.
ALEX: It would be like— okay. Okay.
BOBBY: I—
ALEX: Wait, wait, hang on.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: It would be really bad, right? Because, like, he is, like, so erratic as a business person. Just like reprehensible like morally, you know? He wouldn’t keep the A’s from the— I mean, like, he might fast track the A’s move to Las Vegas, right? And be like, “No, I’ll— no, that— that tunnel is gonna take you right there.” You know, whatever the fuck he’s doing with the [1:54:53]
BOBBY: In that case, they’ll be in fucking Oakland forever.
ALEX: Yeah, I know.
BOBBY: The tunnels aren’t real. The tunnels are not fucking real.
ALEX: I know. I know. I know they’re not real.
BOBBY: If you think your car is gonna go into a fucking tunnel, just give me a million dollars if you think that.
ALEX: What you want is someone who’s like 20% less Elon Musk, who like has enough of the, like, “Fuck it. I kind of don’t give a shit.” attitude, but like, is just not as like meddling and erratic in everything he does.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: I don’t know where that leaves us.
BOBBY: Larry Ellison
ALEX: It’s not— it’s not— it bit might be Larry Ellison.
BOBBY: So we’re not— we’re not long listing Elon?
ALEX: We’re not long listing Elon Musk. No.
BOBBY: Are we summarily Elon Musk?
ALEX: I don’t— I don’t know what you— summarily giving him a round of applause? Yeah.
BOBBY: Summarily is saying, “Sir, sir. Thank you, sir, for saving x.com.”
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: “It’s now once again a place where we can distribute this podcast effectively and that everybody can listen to it.”
ALEX: That’s right, brother.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: What— what does our list look like right now?
BOBBY: It’s— it’s—
ALEX: I don’t— we’ve been doing this for so long.
BOBBY: It’s beautiful. Dagmar Dolby, J.B. Pritzker, and Anthony Pritzker, Robert F. Smith, who, once again, I will remind you, you only put on here because he decided to pay taxes back to the IRS.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: The Mars family, Eric Smidt, not Schmidt. Eric—
ALEX: I did long list Eric Smidt.
BOBBY: Yes, you did. Dustin Moskovitz, Laurene Powell Jobs. Andrew Beal.
ALEX: Oh, Smidt is the— the— the tool guy.
BOBBY: The Harbor Freight.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Yeah. Andrew Beal, Rick Cohen, Mackenzie Scott, Steve Ballmer, and Larry Ellison. This is the best the world has to offer. These are the— these are the best of the best. This is it. This is everything. We’ve gone through all the names. We’ve done it. You— we now come to the part of the podcast where much like when you had to make a new team, I’m going to turn the attention to you and say it’s time, who is purchasing the A’s? The offers are in. You’re Rob Manfred, you select. Whose offer do you accept? That’s not how it works. John Fisher would select [1:57:07] You know what I mean? How did Pritzker make his money? Inherited, right, but from what?
ALEX: Hotels.
BOBBY: Oh, Hyatt.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Okay. So we have Dolby, Hyatt, Mars—
ALEX: Uh-huh.
BOBBY: —Harbor Freight, Facebook, Apple. What was Andrew Beal again? Why is he on here? Why are Andrew Beal and Rick Cohen on here? Those are two guys who I don’t remember their names.
ALEX: Yeah. I don’t know why I put Beal on here, either. I think because he made a tidy sum during the Great Recession. Maybe let’s strike him.
BOBBY: Okay. All right. Tidy sum during Great Recession, Andrew Beal, dunzo.
ALEX: Who was the other one?
BOBBY: Rick Cohen.
ALEX: Oh. Wholesale grocer. Right [1:57:50]
BOBBY: Oh, yeah. Castellini with money.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Okay, cool. And then, of course, MacKenzie Scott, Ballmer, and Ellison. Who’s— who’s next off the list?
ALEX: So this list is kind of split basically between, like, people who found it or helped found one thing, and got rich as fuck off of that, or people whose dad did that, and who inherited the money.
BOBBY: You just described all billionaires, by the way.
ALEX: Well, no, because half this list is people who are just like doing leveraged buyouts and gutting companies.
BOBBY: Oh, okay. Yeah.
ALEX: So I mean, like— like, I kind of love this— see, this is why I like, a guy like Eric Smidt, you know? Who’s like—
BOBBY: Right. He’s like, “Here are some tools.”
ALEX: —he just makes his money in one industry.
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: And then it’s like, “Oh, sure.” I— it almost feels like the prototypical like baseball owner or sports owner, right? The person who just, like, makes money in a— in another industry and is like, “Okay. Sure, I guess I’ll buy a sports team, too.”
BOBBY: Smidt was born in Los Angeles, California. His mother had multiple sclerosis and his father overwhelmed sent him to an orphanage when he was nine.
ALEX: Jesus.
BOBBY: Four years later, he went to live with an aunt—
ALEX: Overwhelmed?
BOBBY: —with an aunt—
ALEX: Overwhelmed with him.
BOBBY: —an aunt in Tennessee. Returning home after two years before moving into his own apartment on his 16th birthday. He graduated from Grant High School in Van Nuys, and then he started Harbor Freight as a teenager, with his father who had sent him away.
ALEX: Because he was having a bad day, I guess.
BOBBY: He was named president at age 25. He’s got some philanthropy section on his Wikipedia page.
ALEX: Yeah, but all these fuckers do.
BOBBY: I know. He’s a collector of modern art. He serves on the board of the— of LACMA, Los Angeles County Museum of Art. He is a prominent Los Angeles Democrat, hosted fundraising dinners for both Bill and Hillary Clinton. He is a friend and former mayor of Los Angeles— or he’s a friend of former mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa and helped pay down the mayor’s ethics fines.
ALEX: Yeah. A little Arte Moreno vibes to him.
BOBBY: In 2022, he purchased a $350— $350 million mega yacht. He was sued by his parents for looting Harbor Freight Tools.
ALEX: That’s what— this is what I said, bro. Literally— and— but— and—
BOBBY: Sued by his parents who gave him away—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —when he was nine.
ALEX: I know. Tough upbringing.
BOBBY: To an orphanage.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. What, he was— I— I feel like we’re glossing over the fact that he was nine years old.
BOBBY: This needs to be in a film.
ALEX: Like, I don’t necessarily know I— that I want him owning my team, but I do want to know more about him.
BOBBY: There’s so much trauma. Wikipedia cheeky— cheekily says not to be confused with Eric Schmidt, Eric Schmidt, or Eric Schmidt.
ALEX: You just said the three strain— the same names over and over again.
BOBBY: Spelled slightly differently for all of [2:00:50]
ALEX: Okay. Eric Smidt is— is off the list, but I’m— I’m—
BOBBY: Why?
ALEX: Why, do you think he just needs this? You think he could use a win in his life?
BOBBY: I think he’s fascinating. I think he’s doing fine. I think he’s doing just okay. You know—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —Harbor Freight is doing well.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: My dad is there—
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: —a lot.
ALEX: Yeah. Uh-huh.
BOBBY: He’s them. He can be your woke king.
ALEX: He could.
BOBBY: You know? Keep the A— keep the Oakland A’s in the East Bay, because of its rich cultural history. You know, Hillary Clinton would agree.
ALEX: What?
BOBBY: He has a fundraiser for her.
ALEX: Oh, right. Yeah.
BOBBY: You forget things too fast. Too focused on the [2:01:35]
ALEX: I’m— I— I don’t even know what we’ve done for the last hour and a half.
BOBBY: Overwhelmed. Okay, Eric Smidt, goodbye.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Sorry.
ALEX: We’ll— we’ll— we’ll take Robert Smith off this list, too.
BOBBY: Okay. You gotta start knocking people off faster. Quick, quick.
ALEX: I’m out. Wait, did—
BOBBY: Stevie— Stevie looks like she needs to go out.
ALEX: Did we— did we decide— we’re out on Dustin Moskovitz, right?
BOBBY: We didn’t.
ALEX: Oh, no, we didn’t? He’s on the list? All right.
BOBBY: He’s on the list.
ALEX: I’m out.
BOBBY: Okay. Probably better to steer clear of Facebook.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: And— yeah. And Effective Altruism.
ALEX: Yeah, exactly. Who do we think, Ballmer, Ellison? I feel like they’re kind of— they’re cut from the same cloth.
BOBBY: I personally like Ballmer more.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: Because he sort of reminds me of the A’s mascot.
ALEX: Oh, Stomper. That’s too real. Yeah. All right. Ellison’s off the list.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Ballmer is staying on.
BOBBY: Goodbye. While we’re staying on, I feel like you have to choose between MacKenzie Scott and Laurene Powell Jobs.
ALEX: Yeah. I— I kind of agree.
BOBBY: You got to cut one of those. They’re not going to make it the final.
ALEX: Kind of two ends of the spectrum, because Laurene Powell Jobs is known as the least transparent philanthropist, and MacKenzie Scott—
BOBBY: MacKenzie Scott [2:02:48] no strings.
ALEX: —is the one who’s just like no strings attached.
BOBBY: Yeah. MacKenzie Scott significantly richer than Laurene Powell Jobs, if that’s the tiebreaker for you.
ALEX: That’s— that is true. Yeah. By like— what, like tenfold?
BOBBY: Yeah.
ALEX: I’m— I’m kind of leaning on MacKenzie.
BOBBY: Okay. Laurene Powell Jobs is like nominally sort of a big D Democrat also, like believes in fucking values—
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: —liberal values, you know?
ALEX: Okay. We gotta—
BOBBY: Mars family?
ALEX: I— Mars family feel like they would have owned a baseball team in like the 1930s.
BOBBY: Yeah, I agree.
ALEX: You know? Like— and— and I say that as a point in their favor.
BOBBY: Yeah, me too.
ALEX: So I— I’m kind of hesitant to strike them from the list.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: Where do they— do they live again? Where are they based? It’s not important. It’s okay. We’ll move on.
BOBBY: They’re all over the map.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: Virginia, Wyoming. California, Virginia, New York, and Pennsylvania, so they’re everywhere. They’re in this room right now. They’re in the walls. Okay. That leaves Pritzker and Dagmar Dolby. Who—
ALEX: Did we already strike Rick Cohen?
BOBBY: No, he’s in there still.
ALEX: All right. I want to strike Rick Cohen.
BOBBY: RIP—
ALEX: I know he’s—
BOBBY: RIP Castellini with [2:03:55]
ALEX: I know he’s a wholesale grocer guy, but he’s also—
BOBBY: This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
ALEX: —a— a chairman of an AI-enabled robotics company.
BOBBY: Is it Boston Dynamics?
ALEX: No, I don’t think so.
BOBBY: Okay. Fuck.
ALEX: symbiotic.
BOBBY: Okay.
ALEX: You know, the other one that we pay attention to.
BOBBY: Right, exactly. “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us,” Castellini said.
ALEX: All right. We got—
BOBBY: There’s only one man who sells carrots in this league, and that is Bobby.
ALEX: Yeah.
SPEAKER 4: He’s got carrots, and lettuce, and mushrooms porcini. The vegetable king. Bob Castellini.
BOBBY: Okay. We’re down to five.
ALEX: Down to five.
BOBBY: Dolby, Pritzker, Mars, MacKenzie Scott, or Steve Ballmer.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: I think Steve Ballmer is too obvious and boring of a choice to have spent this much time doing this.
ALEX: I agree. He’s out. He’s also never going to be allowed to buy a baseball team.
BOBBY: True. Neither are any of these people, but—.
ALEX: No. I mean, I— yeah.
BOBBY: Final four. Who’s next? Who’s cutting— who’s getting cut next?
ALEX: I— I feel like Pritzker is more likely to buy the— the White Sox when Jerry Reinsdorf ultimately, like—
BOBBY: Yeah. He doesn’t really seem like the type of person who— he, like, is a very, like, Midwestern [2:05:19]
ALEX: He has huge Midwestern vibes. Yeah. Dolby— Dolby, Mars, and Scott.
BOBBY: Dagmar Dolby, the whole Mars family.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: Who are somehow coming in toget— they’re gonna be like the Pohlads.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Who own the Twins.
ALEX: Yeah. Right, exactly.
BOBBY: It’s just gonna be like one of them will be the person who’s the control [2:05:34] person, but they’re all putting in some cash into the pot.
ALEX: Yeah. The— the Ricketts, you know?
BOBBY: I’m—
ALEX: The Ricketts of the West.
BOBBY: —in love with any of these ideas, to be honest. I— I gotta say, we fucking crushed it.
ALEX: Uh-hmm. Dagmar Dolby—
BOBBY: I’m sorry, wait. The Ricketts of the West was really funny. I— I got distracted.
[laughter]
BOBBY: How much is Dagmar Dolby worth?
ALEX: Like— like 5 billion or something like that.
BOBBY: That’s enough.
ALEX: Right.
BOBBY: Yeah, that’s enough.
ALEX: But once again, she was also— yeah, 5 billion. She was also a bit of an asterisk, because she’s 82.
BOBBY: Oh.
ALEX: So we will be entrusting her kids to a certain extent.
BOBBY: She looks kind of nice.
ALEX: But she does look nice, right?
BOBBY: Yeah. She looks nice.
ALEX: I saw that, and I was like, “Oh, I could see her owning my baseball team.”
BOBBY: Girl boss, too.
ALEX: I— like, again, she’s got the audio background, like—
BOBBY: She would come on the pod.
ALEX: She’d come on the pod.
BOBBY: You know why? Because I’ve spent years doing free fucking marketing for Dolby.
ALEX: You have. Yeah.
BOBBY: I think she supported the Academy Foundation to fund the construction of the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles.
ALEX: That’s— see, that’s not based.
BOBBY: I’m gonna be honest. I think we can lose MacKenzie Scott.
ALEX: I was about to say I think MacKenzie Scott is out.
BOBBY: It’d be funny if we would DQ all these people for being over 80 and then we just chose—
ALEX: Chose— right.
BOBBY: —someone who’s over 80.
[laughter]
BOBBY: So it’s time to get down to brass tacks. It’s Mars or Dolby, two fucking name brands.
ALEX: Uh-hmm.
BOBBY: True Blue. America first companies. Different sides of the same coin.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: You know? Titans of industry.
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: I’m just gonna keep going. Remember I was explaining what vamping was at the beginning of this podcast? [2:07:25] so far.
ALEX: I’m gonna— I’m just gonna let you do it.
BOBBY: What are two things that go together great? Cinnamon candy.
ALEX: True.
BOBBY: Think about how much free candy they would hand out at the Coliseum. The kids would go crazy for it. Or conversely, think about how great the audio would sound in the A’s new stadium. You just have to pick, please. For the love of God, pick.
ALEX: I think—
BOBBY: Are you trying to look into her kids?
ALEX: I’m— holy shit.
BOBBY: Oh, wait.
ALEX: Holy shit.
BOBBY: An important thing I remembered.
ALEX: Okay.
BOBBY: Remember 2018, that’s— the $20 million donation to the— for the Dolby Family Center for Mood Disorders?
ALEX: Yeah.
BOBBY: Just wanted to bring that back up.
ALEX: That was it?
BOBBY: Yeah. We— we— we— we talked about how Dagmar Dolby lives in San Francisco, right?
ALEX: Yes. Right. So she’s got the local ties. The Mars family is spread out over the— the country. But, like, I am also kind of leaning towards— the Mars family collectively worth, like, $100 billion.
BOBBY: Yeah,
ALEX: Like each of them has, like, 20 billion.
BOBBY: Right.
ALEX: Again—
BOBBY: Naturally.
ALEX: Sure.
BOBBY: A lot of candy bars were sold over the years.
ALEX: A lot of candy bars. Big Milky Way guy. Mars family, welcome to Oakland.
BOBBY: Let’s go.
SPEAKER 5: What else gives you such value? Mars. when all the goodness of milk, glucose, sugar, and thick, thick chocolate, big bar enjoyment and big bar value. Weigh it up.
SPEAKER 6: A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.
BOBBY: A fucking valiant effort from Dagmar Dolby, though, five billion. She was just outclassed.
ALEX: She was.
BOBBY: But honestly coming in second, what an honor. What an honor.
ALEX: What an honor.
BOBBY: What an honor. She can buy an expand— an expansion team. Let’s give it up for the Mars family, everybody. That is Jacqueline, John, Marijke, Pamela—
ALEX: I feel—
BOBBY: —Valerie and Victoria.
ALEX: Yeah, the— the four Mars sisters.
BOBBY: Girl bosses.
ALEX: Girl bossing their way to the top of the league.
BOBBY: Was this a good exercise? Did you have fun?
ALEX: You know, it was an exercise—
BOBBY: Okay, great.
ALEX: —that we got to the end of.
BOBBY: If you enjoyed this, if you enjoy more ridiculous content like this, you can find bonus content at tippingpitch— bonus content at patreon.com/tippingpitches. Alex is laughing because we— why would you ever need to listen to more of us after this?
ALEX: If this wasn’t enough for you.
BOBBY: There’s more where that came from. Much like the Walton fortune, there’s always more.
ALEX: Yup.
BOBBY: Thank you, everybody, for listening. I had a lot of fun doing this. I hope that I was able to cut out enough time to make this close to two hours, not like two hours and 30 minutes. But either way, I think we landed in the right spot. They brought us chocolate, and then they’re gonna bring us World Series rings. Next week on the pod, on the— on the main feed, we are going to be taking a week off from doing normal episodes and we will be releasing, unlocking, so to speak, an episode that we did for our Patreon. It was a watch-along, the aforementioned watch along of the film Moneyball. Not sure if you’ve heard of it. Not sure if you heard of the film Moneyball, not sure if it’s ever come up on the show. We did a watch-along commentary track for that with none other than Blank Check’s David Sims, and that’ll be on the feed next week. In two weeks’ time, we’ll be back with a normal, if you can call it that, episode of Tipping Pitches. Thank you for listening.
SPEAKER 7: But you never listened to the music, did ya? Talk so loud, you don’t hear other people’s problems. Trying not to look, you’re not the person to solve them.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ: Hello, everybody. I’m Alex Rodriguez. Tipping Pitches. Tipping Pitches. This is the one that I love the most. Tipping Pitches. So, we’ll see you next week. See ya!
BOBBY: Woo. Okay.
ALEX: That’s right, Stevie.
Tipping Pitches 
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